Over it.

Been a pretty tumultuous few days for me. had to basically write off someone I considered family and loved like she was my own child. Can't help but wonder how anyone can let themselves become so deluded...so I cut the tie. And it hurt, but it was necessary. I am completely over anyone in my life feeling like they can dictate who and how I care about anyone else, and fabricating ugliness about my family. So bu-bye.

Delusional People...

I will never understand how some people can subscribe so full heartily in the notion that the world is stacked against the. How there is always someone else to blame. How they can fabricate circumstances to be so much worse than they really were to garner support from others by painting the picture to be so much darker than it really is. Honesty is so much easier to digest in your own heart than lies and manipulation. Yes, maybe you were wronged, but to bee up the extent of which you were means you are in the wrong too. Seriously, if you can't feel support without punching up the betrayal, maybe your friends aren't as awesome as you claim they are...

Busy

Been much busier lately. Besides watching the kiddo a lot more than I expected to, I have done 2 photo shoots with 2 of my pregnant nieces in the past week and edited a couple hundred photos. Hasn't left much in the way of time for writing, but I am not complaining. If I am creating something beautiful that is really all that matters to me!

Good Day

Today has been a really good day. I can't complain at all. The scale is still dropping. I am still writing. Those are the two most important things going on in my life so far. I am living for those 2 things. Those 2 things are what keeps me going. And now that I am watching Pixie, I have less time to dwell on the things that are less important. I like this. A lot.

Anniversaries

Anniversaries tend to reflect either a good or a bad thing. And for me the bad things are too many and the good too few. 2 days ago marked 4 years since we lost Mom. and in a couple weeks it will be 5 since we lost Jay. This time of year gets to feeling pretty brutal. But I am trying to keep the sad brushed back and the good pushed forward. The same day that marks 5 since Jay flew, marks 4 of my sobriety and cigarette free. And the next day is my birthday, and my nephews birthday. Both things I want to be able to celebrate with more smiles than tears. And in order to do that I have to dwell on all the good memories and moments that all my angels brought to my life. And those are many. I have been crushed by life in so many ways over the years, but I have also been a lucky lucky girl to have had so many perfect and blissful moments to reflect back on as well.