Sunday, October 31, 2004

Jordan was in camo, not sure exactly what she defined her costume as, but she wore all her step-dads camo and had him paint her face. Posted by Hello

Raina is a "Tigger" cat. Posted by Hello

Shea was a punk rocker with blue and purple hair. Posted by Hello

Spiderman! Dane, though he really wanted to be Thomas the train! Posted by Hello

Happy Halloween!

So I stayed in and handed out candy, so that I could see all of the kids, which I accomplished with one exception. My oldest niece never made it over. All the other nieces and nephews and "family" kids from my families large group of "adopted" friends. Scratch that, the best friend never came by with her two little ones never showed up either. Oh well hopefully they took their own pictures and will share them with their Auntie.

We all sat around all day watching a Halloween movie marathon, from Halloween 1 all the way up to Freddy vs Jason. Ohhh so much fun! I think the highlight of my day was when I made a trip up to Walmart to get candy which we had procrastinated on buying. I swear it is ridiculous the price of candy around Halloween! Spent $25 on candy, but ended up with a bunch of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups left over. Which actually saddens me as I will be tempted to eat them. So anyway I will post pics later! Hope you all had more fun than I did.

On another note, here is my ONEWORD submission for the word cover...

my eyes are open to the starkness that lies about yours. they see what is frightening you before you do and aren't attempting to run, they will face what comes with you and only sometimes cover themselves


You Should Be Catwoman for Halloween!

You Should Be Catwoman for Halloween!

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Myth vs. Reality

One of the following really happened, which do you think it is?

1. Once while I was taking a bath my roommate busted in to use the restroom. As I sat their reading my book and enjoying the hot bubbly water, I forget I have company until I hear "Oh My God! So much shit just fell out of my ass!" that accompanied by a gawd awful smell. I learned to lock the door when a bathe.

2. While trying to push start my friends car, I accidentally got my duster (long jacket) stuck in the door. When he gave it gas and started to drive down his gravel driveway, he ended up dragging me down to the bottom of the hill. At the bottom of the hill the jackass finally looked in his side mirror and got out to help me up. It took a week to get all the grit and tiny rocks out from under my skin.

3. One summer while I was staying down at my Grandma's she took me and my sister to the public pool to cool off. We had been swimming for a while when I had an itch on my back I asked my sister to scratch. She obliged far more readily than I expected as she enjoyed tormenting me. It was about ten minutes later that I realized she had untied my suit and I was flashing my pre-pubescent tata's at the entire pool. When gramma found out about it she made my sister sit home with Grandpa watching Jeopardy re-runs for the rest of the week.

So which do you think really happened?


If you could breathe my breath straight from my lungs
would it ease you?
If you could taste the horror of my life
would it please you?
If you could salve my wounds with candles and lace
would you try?
If you could believe every word from my lips
would you then lie?
If I wasn't enough for you
would you knock on another door?
If I was too clean for your taste
would you try to make me your whore?
If I could sate your hunger
would you rather starve?
If my heart was on a platter
would you volunteer to carve?
If my life slipped roughly away
could you bring yourself to cry?
If I left you my love
would you gladly say goodbye?
If you knew you meant more to me than just a friend
would it sadden you at all to celebrate my end?
Don't answer now, I don't really want to know,
Just know I wonder, who it is that holds my soul.

Friday, October 29, 2004

By the numbers

1.5- the number of hours I sat in a dark and quiet house without electricity.
10- the number of blocks that were without electricity with me.
3.5 - number of hours spent on the phone with my neighbor walking her through downloading NAV05.
2,003 - number of words typed on book today. (very pathetic)
4,012 - number of words typed on other things today. (should've put that much effort into the book)
2 - number of times I repainted my nails today.
17 - number of times the phone rang today.
4 - number of times the cell phone rang today.
414 - number of CD's on my kitchen counter, waiting to be organized after the kids went through them all.
3 - number of times I dripped my soup on my shirt tonight. (it was hot and I kept burning myself too, :( )
7 -number of fresh cat scratches I received today.
4.5 - number of hours of sleep I got last night.
at least 50 - number of times I fantasized about throttling stupid ex-bosslady today.

Good night my pretties, until tomorrow.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Well son of a ...

So now I find out that the c*nt ex-bosslady (and trust me I don't easily use the C word) is still trying to tell people that I did something I did not do. This is after the Police have reported back to her that we are INNOCENT of any of the actions she alleged. She reported today to the Unemployment Dept. that we had done this thing. Now lets see in my understanding that is most definitely slander. She is knowingly making false and malicious statements about Sissy and myself. Stupid Bitch.

What makes all of it worse is that I did get into a bit of trouble when I was younger and I worked my ass off since to make up for it and to turn my life around. And that Bitch and her cronies has screwed all that work and effort up. It makes a person wonder why in the hell they should try. It's a whole lot of work to pick yourself up just to end up on your ass again.

So now I am going to write some nice letters to all of their funding agents. That will make me feel better. That agency has gone down the toilet over the past year she has been the Director and the sad thing is all of the people they are supposed to be helping aren't getting the help they should because she isn't doing her job properly.

Screw HER!

I'll get over it just as soon as she gets hers. I am a vindictive Bitch after all, at least that is what my friends tell me. It just doesn't feel right to let them get away with trying to steamroll us just because they think they can.

And another slams in my face.

I am getting supremely irritated at my blog. First my images aren't displaying right and then my tagboard doesn't want to work. Oh well.

So I got turned down by another attorney today. Well I suppose turned down is not the right word. They would happily look into the case for me if only I give them large amounts of cash first. What ever happened to a free consult? So that's one more closed door to add to the list. It seems like that leaves very few doors left open.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Ho Hum

Sometimes I am quiet. Life just doesn't always give me something to say. But it's rare. I try to find something important in everything. And if it's important I feel obligated to comment upon it.

Life isn't offering up anything worth wasting any wit on. I am BORED. What's worse is that though I am sure there is something I can do about it, it hasn't occurred to me yet. So here I sit pissed off at myself because I am not being more creative. Urrg. Hmmph and Blech! I dunno. So I am quieter than usual. A little less ranty. A tad more withdrawn.

Doesn't make me any less oppinionated. It's just that there seems like there is less to have a particular opinion about.

On a another note; I find myself flipping back and forth between Court TV and the Food Network, trying to find some drivel to watch that strikes my fancy. Alton Brown Is interesting. Iron Chef is addicting. Rachel Ray on 30 minute meals cracks herself up which in turn humors me. And Court TV is always a source of fascination and interestfor more than one reason. One: It baffles me how blind humans can be by nature (only a select few of course) to think that they can get away with some crimes. and Two: Crimenology is always an abundent well for a writer to pull from. If only I was writing more. Blah Blah.

Bought Dawn of the Dead yesterday so I think I am gonna go watch it. I am a horror movie junkie. Too bad they don't make many good ones anymore. Ta!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

K I like this one it's different.

I AM: unknown
I WANT: to be known
I HAVE: words
I WISH: time could double itself and I could be 15 again
I HATE: growing up and waking before 9:00 am
I FEAR: I will always be unknown
I HEAR: music in the words that rumble through my head
I SEARCH: for a reason to change
I WONDER: if I'll find it
I REGRET: that I haven't yet
I LOVE: words
I ACHE: always
I ALWAYS: ache
I AM NOT: known
I DANCE: in the shower (one day I'll hurt myself I am sure)
I SING: when I am alone in the car (or doing dishes)
I CRY: for sappy coffee commercials and talk shows
I AM NOT ALWAYS: satisfied
I WRITE: always
I WIN: little that matters
I LOSE: little that matters
I CONFUSE: everyone
I NEED: something that eludes me
I SHOULD: find it
DO YOU KEEP A DIARY: in a sense ( I blog)
YOU LIKE TO COOK: sometimes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: the question is does it believe in me
THE SEXIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: I think sexy should be subtle and he doesn't know he is
CLOSEST FRIEND: m and my mom
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: my mother knows everything about me
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: that tomorrows just keep coming and I still haven't figured out yesterday
INSIDE JOKE: shopfleet enterprise, bootloops, don't mess with your own perception, ufos at Wilson creek, following the Christian mission across the river into Compton...and many more
DO YOU...?
HAVE A CRUSH: do they still make that soda? Hee hee, I don't know anymore
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: mom=98% of the time, dad= 80% of the time, my fault or theirs it is usually petty and forgotten before the day is done
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: kinda brownish red
EYE COLOR: hazel blue
BIRTHPLACE: grants pass oregon
NUMBER: 90,000 (# of words in an average manuscript)
COLOR: blue
DAY: Thursday
MONTH: december
SONG: deliver me by sarah brightman
FOOD: mom's broccoli cassorole
SEASON: winter
SPORT: to play; volleyball to watch; none really
DRINK: there is Dr. Pepper in my veins but I don't think anything tastes better than ice cold milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: depends on what it is
********** IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yes
GOTTEN SICK? Does psycho headache fall under the category of sick?
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? Picked it up and brought it home
HUGGED SOMEONE? Yes S, lots of times
1. breaking benjamin
2. crossfade
3. joss stone
4. gretchen wilson
5. amy sloan
1. my alarm clock
2. my car
3. ex-bosslady
4. mustard
5. carpet tacks
6. bills
7. colds
1. EAT A BUG? yes
3. HANG GLIDE? yes
4. KILL SOMEONE? If it was them or me hell yeah, if they threatened or hurt someone I love, hell yeah
5. KISS SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX? I kiss my nieces all the time ;)
6. HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX? no just not my thing.
11. BE A VEGETARIAN? Hell hasen't frozen yet, I am a carnivore
12. WEAR PLAID WITH STRIPES? Sounds like something my mom put me in before I knew any better
13. IM A STRANGER? Done it before
14. SING KARAOKE? Depends on how much alcohol is in me
15. GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS? Done it before
16. SHOPLIFT? Done it before, but not in many years
17. RUN A RED LIGHT? Have on accident, not on purpose
23. CHEAT ON A TEST? maybe
24. MAKE SOMEONE CRY? Not on purpose



Trail of Petals

I wrote this when I was eighteen. I stumbled up on it yesterday and thought I'd slap it up here. I was obviously going through a darker period.

trail of petals

The woman stood silently dropping pale yellow rose petals. One by one the petals fluttered onto the sand of the beach. Each soft petal holding hands with a salty tear as it fell. Slowly and gracefully the woman took a step, and another, making her way along the shore. She ignored the wind as it took hold of the satiny tendrils of her raven hair, creating a fury of fire about her head. She ignored the searing sun as it scorched her porcelain skin. She ignored the spray of the tide as it danced in midair. She ignored the calls of seagulls beckoning to be heard. Each step left a petal in it's place. She ignored the world around her. Only felt the emotions coursing through her body and ripping through her soul. The petals began to dance with the sea as she carried herself into the water. With each step submerging her feelings in ice. She could not walk far enough to drown her heartache. All the woman left was a trail of petals leading the tired into the salvation of the sea.

7-12-97 jlm

Monday, October 25, 2004

Klepted from Bret

Why is it that all the tests I take say I have some nuclear issue?



Battle Rating

Jessica is the spawn of nuclear sludge released into a lake

Can your fishy beat Jessica ?

Sunday, October 24, 2004

OK I think that is the last of the current Photo meme requests.

For Tiffanie: meme request, my favorite place to relax. It heats and massages and I have to wrestle it away from the cat when I want to sit in it, but it is a really nice place to sit in front of the fire and read. Especially with a blanket Gramma made! Posted by Hello

Again for Bret, A picture representing lonliness. This is my Dad. It is while he was in Vietnam. He doesn't express emotion much, but when I look at this photo I imagine he is lonely, being away from his family for so long, and being so young. He is the third oldest of 12 kids so he was used to being surrounded by family, and here he was not. I do know that lonly or not, he was proud of his service and I am proud of him. And he still cracks me up when he tells us about the ladies yelling, "boom boom GI 5 dolla's!" I think those ladies probably embarrassed him. I like my Daddy. A lot. Posted by Hello

Saturday, October 23, 2004

OK here is the second picture to represent dreams. Again this is me and this was a game I used to play with myself. I remember that when I was stacking them I was determined to build my own castle. I spent hours doing this. And this was back before cans stacked easily. Oh and Blitz beer was my parents beer of choice back then in case you were wondering. Posted by Hello

Ok for Bret, photo meme request, an image depicting dreams, I have two for this one here is the first. This was my first typewriter, my parents (that's mom in the picture & my older sister, nice shirt huh) got it for me on my 6th birthday. I started writing early on. Posted by Hello

For Tiffanie, meme request, my favorite restaurant is Bonanza drive up, they have really good fries and their burger sauce is wonderful. I admit though that the best food in the planet comes from my Daddies kitchen, the man is a genious within a kitchen and make things that just make you melt when you smell them. Posted by Hello

For Bret Photo Meme request: This photo represents anger for me, This is where I worked and got screwed over royally. I can't hardly stand to look at it long enough to create the post, before I want to break something. Posted by Hello

OK this one I am just showing off how pretty it was outside, but Mrs. is posing for you too, and let me tell ya she don't do that very often so you are getting a treat. I need to get those other photo meme requests up, hopefully by tomarrow. Posted by Hello

Another for Tiffanie: She looks like she is growling at me... and I need to mow thw lawn really bad I think. ;) Posted by Hello

Tiffanie's Photo Meme Request: One of mrs. Kitty. Posted by Hello

This is the view I enjoyed all morning from about 7:30 am until 11:30 am. I like the rain though so it wasn't all that bad. And I had a good book as you can see, so I can't say I suffered terribly. Posted by Hello

One of the lovely views I had the pleasure of staring at yesterday while waiting in the car, I just couldn't contain my excitement, WOO HOO Posted by Hello

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that neon nut.

Jessica is a radioactive squirrel!!



Friday, October 22, 2004

Friday Feast and more!

Name 3 things that you are wearing today.
turquoise V-neck Tee shirt, Jean capris, and a black satin bra with eyelets.

Who was the last person you hugged?
My niece Raina

What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?
I am on a Carl's Junior onion ring kick right now, I usually hate onions though so It doesn't make sense. I also like to order the taco omlette at the Koffee Kup.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
Probably 10-11 PM, which is why I find it so difficult to fall asleep at night.

Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)
Jump every six steps in circling arcs.


Ok so I have a sore tukus. I sat in my car from 7 am until 6 pm. But now we have a licenced Cosmetologist/Hairstylist in the family. Always at our disposal to jack our shit up. Oh and she'll jack us up I garauntee it. Just to screw with us. That's how she is, she enjoys it. She is the same one who chopsuey'd my face when she gave me a facial. Hmmph, she even plans to make me pay for it.

Anyway, all that sitting on my ass at least enabled me to read a really good book from front to back. I will post pictures of the various views I had while sitting in the car waiting between Springfield and Salem. But right now I tuckered out. g-night.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Busy Waiting!

Well I had a small job today which will recur several times over the next couple of months. Teaching computer basics and Microsoft Office to my Aunt and Uncle so they can be competent for his business. The pay is fair $16 an hour plus gas, because I have to drive to Rice Hill. Of course the down side is that it is only a couple hours a couple times a week. So it is definitely not enough to get by on. But it is something for my resume and with word of mouth (my Aunt is chatty) maybe I can pick up a few more people. Hmmmm who knows, but I do have a knack for computing and teaching it to others. So maybe I have a new direction to go. It is all under the table so I can still get my Unemployment, so maybe I can afford to take some more classes then. Just a thought.

tomorrow will be a long day of me sitting in my car. My sister E graduates from beauty school tomorrow at exactly 11:15 am. So I am taking her tomorrow so I can be there when it becomes official and then race her up to Salem so she can take her boards. She is very excited. I think the whole family will sigh a collective sigh of relief when she passes that test. We all wondered if she would make it this time as she had to stop attending school twice for different reasons before she finally got it done. Then she turns around and starts with appointments at the salon on Saturday.

So I will sit most of the day in the car either driving or waiting. FUN!

Anyway found out these tidbits about myself and thought I'd share. I don't know if that is a good IQ or not, and I plan to retake the test later because I kept getting interrupted and see if the score is about the same or not. Anyway:

Avoidant:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Congratulations, Jessica!
Your IQ score is 132

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Gotta Love Luggage Racks

Ok so since life is boring at the moment, time for another story. Like I said in the last post there is just not a whole heck of a lot to do in my rinky dink town. So E, M, BB and myself decide to go for a drive in a car we had rented to go to a concert in Portland. It was a big round station wagon type car that we thought looked like a spaceship. We had the car for one more day and decided to go out and act stupid in it.

We are good at acting stupid I might add. Anyway we take the car up Razor Road, which is a windy road about 15 minutes out of town that goes up hill for about 5 miles. Once we get to the top of the hill and spin cookies a little and get the rental car good and dirty. That is what bored people do around here. At least when they don't have any adult beverages.

So we get bored with muddin and decided to head back into town. M decided that since there didn't seem to be much in the way of traffic up the hill she wanted to ride down on the roof of the car. So she climbed up and we started slowly down the hill. Very slowly. So it took three times as long as usual to travel one mile.

After a little while we are chattin in the car, E in the front and BB and myself in the backseat. E and I get into a storytellin session and BB keeps giggling next to me. I asked him what was so funny, he says oh nothin He can be weird so I figure he is probably just getting the joke someone told a couple hours ago or something. And go back to gabbin with E.

We speed up little by little as we go until eventually we are going the normal speed off of the hill and probably a little faster since it was so dead and there was no one coming up the hill.

BB keeps giggling and E and I keep chatting. As we approach the stop sign at the bottom of the hill E and I suddenly remember our external passenger at the very last moment and E slams on the brakes...HARD.

We hear a thud thud thud across the top of the roof and M's legs appear on the windshield. After the dust settles and a couple more moments of silence we hear M say Whoa, and then a couple more silent seconds and she a rollercoaster...and B breaks out in a full on belly laugh. (seems he hadn't forgot about her like E and I had and he thought it was pretty funny that we had)

M climbs down real slow and shows us her hands which had these long rectangular indentations on them from her holding on to the luggage rack so tightly. The marks finally disappeared about a week later and about a year later she mentioned doing it again but no one had a car with a rack on it.

B giggled all the way home. Of course knowing him he was probably stoned. So much fun and stupidity. I wonder if we hadn't remembered her how long she could have hung on. Heh, I can still picture her sitting up the like granny on Nat'l Lampoons. :)

By the way I am working on those picture meme requests guys I will try to get them up tomorrow. Ta~

Beer Bong Practice

Did I mention there isn't a lot to do around here? Well our main passtime in the years between my 17th and 22nd years was small drinking parties with our core groups of friends. At the time this took place I lived with my older sister E and my best friend M in a little 2 bedroom apartment, above a local salon. I shared a room with M and my sister shared a room with her two little girls. Half of the time we all slept in the living room anyway on a big bunch of blankets we spred over the floor so thick it was like a mattress of its own. Anyway our apartment became the group hangout because most everyone else still lived at home.

We hadn't lived there but for maybe two weeks when we decided to have a housewarming party. I had mentioned to M that I planned to make a beer bong (some people call these beer funnels) for the party because I hate the taste of beer and found that beer bonging was the only way I could stand to drink the stuff. (since it is down the gullet before you can taste it) Anyway M had never done this before and said she wanted to practice so she didn't look stupid when she tried it at the party.

So I went and bought a big funnel and tube at the auto parts store, and then we went and bought everything alse for the party. (i.e. BEER and more BEER) And when E and I get back M is standing there with a 3 liter of Black Cherry Soda pop. I wasn't sure what she was thinking so I told her no I had Sprite to pour through the tube to take away the rubbery taste. She laughed and said no she bought the soda to practice with. (I think in my head, eww, beer bonging black cherry pop...ick) I said OK if thats what you wanna do, but noted that Black Cherry pop is extra fizzy, she looked at me as if she had no clue what I meant, so I just shook my head and went about making the bong.

So I get it make and de-rubber tasted and show M how it is done, I did it with a beer mind you. Also while I was putting the bong together she was standing there drinking a big glass of milk. So I hand it to her and she demonstrates how it is done, sans any liquid. I tell her it looks like she has it and I help her to load the funnel up with the soda, I tell her that I will help her and lift the funnel up so she can concentrate on swallowing. She says OK. She gets down a couple gulps and then I am suddenly covered with Sadoa pop. Bright red soda pop. I looked like someone had murdered me especially since I was wearing a white top. Of course E was standing there also trying to help and she got soaked as well. So this continues over about 15 minutes until the bottle was empty. She got a little more down each time, but the kitchen and E and myself were covered with sticky black cherry pop everytime she couldn't get it all down. Somehow she managed to avoid getting a single drop on herself.

So we clean up the kitchen and E sprints for the first shower and M says she is feeling quesy and goes to lay on the couch. I decide to wait for my turn in the shower in my room, so I could at least take off my sticky clothes. I strip the clothes off and climb under the covers cuz it's cold and start to doze. A few minutes later I am laying in bed and this is what I hear, (Oh the bathroom is across the hall from my bedroom)

The bathroom door slams open and I hear the following:

E: Hey I am in the shower!

M: Blauauugh (puking sounds)

E: Eeeew!

M: Blauauugh

E: Are you OK?

M: Eeeew...

E: Oh my...

M: Heh Heh, Jess come see this!

So I grab my robe and go into the bathroom, E is hanging half in and half out of the shower with a disgusted look on her face and there is red throw-up cherry pop everywhere. M is still kneeling in front of the toilet, still without any red on her, looking into the basin, which was also practically pristine. E chimes in and says she had her whole head in there and somehow it still ended up everywhere but in the toilet or on her. M just sat there laughing, until we told her that, unlike the kitchen, her happy ass was cleaning this mess on her own.

Later that night when everyone showed up and I broke out the beer bong, M wouldn't come anywhere near it. When we moved out of the apartment we still found splashes of red in places that seemed way out of place, like the hallway cieling or behind the closet door.

Don't think she's looked at a beer bong the same way since. Good Times. ;)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Use your video cameras

I watched a video tonight that my gramma recorded, it had footage from a big camping trip that the whole family made it to on Crescent lake. That is a feat, you see she did have 13 kids. It was recorded in 1991 so I would have been 11 years old. And THANKS mom for allowing me ever to have that hairstyle! (she says dripping with sarcasm) Anyway it was weird because I hadn't seen it in so long and it also had my grandpa on it who died several years ago. That was one of my favorite memories, that camping trip, and we all looked so young.

Then the tape goes on to another bit a month or so later and I wasn't there, It was just my Gma and Gpa and three of their sons and their wives and such. Anyway my Uncle sat and recorded my Gma and Gpa telling stories about their kids when they were little. Like when Uncle T fell in the outhouse (ewwww). It was nice just to watch my Grandparents sit there and tell stories, even if I couldn't hear everything they said thanks to Uncle A. laughen his ass off in the background.

Then it skipped forward again to when we all got together to help paint gma and gpa's house on sweetlane before they moved in. In the background you can hear Taylor Dayne blasting in the background and the kids all playing out in the front yard. Lots of closeups of Gramma.

And the final stop on the trip down memory lane is Easter on Sweetlane. My niece K was maybe 1 and a half, and a complete ham. A lot of this part of the tape is me taking K around and my cousin Kev taking around my little cousin Meg around the big back yard looking for eggs. There is one part where I go to pick up little K to race across the (wet) yard for an egg, and almost face surf across the grass, but being so graceful (hah!) I catch myself.

But the Easter part also has footage of two other family members that are now gone. My Grandpa P. who actually looked like he was having a grand old time. (he usually didn't seem to have a lot of fun) and my cousin C, who was killed in a car accident a few years ago.

It just makes me wish we used our cameras more to document all the great things we do together as a family, so we can remember them more vividly when we aren't all around anymore.

It makes me feel good about things to remember such things and have pictures to work along with my memories

Then I think of that jerk they had on Court TV today who killed the puppy and I wanna puke! They should have kicked that f***er till he died.

Than I wiggle my toes and remember that I am wearing my chenille socks and am able to find bliss again.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Snagged from Tiffanie

Name three of your....

1. Pet peeves:
POP-UP Ads! Nuff said on that. People who sneeze without covering their mouths. Yucky gross. How in movies people wake up and start making out, as if they didn't have morning breath. Just really annoying. I was so happy when they addressed the issue in the movie Dreamcatcher .

2. Favorite sounds:
Purring, the sound (and smell) of a campfire, and a real belly laugh.

3. Favorite flavors of candy:

Symphony and Dove milk Chocolate. Strawberry Starbursts, buckeyes (a homemade peanut butter cream covered in chocolate).

4. Biggest Fears:

Being left alone with no family. Being unable to write. Being forgotten.

5. Biggest challenges:

keeping my mouth shut when I should. Not purchasing on impulse.

6. Favorite Department Stores:
I don't get to do much dept. store shopping, and when I do it is where the sale is. I am so very pathetic.

7. Most Used Words:

Shhnazay, Uck, and Wowsa (hee hee I don't know, I don't think there are a lot of words I say all the time.)

8. Favorite Pizza Toppings:

an Abby's Special with LOTS of extra cheese.

9. Favorite cartoon characters:

The monchhichis, Rogue of X-men, Ed, Edd, and Eddie, the angry beavers.

10. Movies recently watched:
Ok I watched Ginger Snaps Back last night while I tried to go to sleep. And I re watched the Day After Tomarrow.

11. Favorite Fruits:

watermelon, strawberries, mandarin Oranges

12. Favorite Vegetables:

peas, beets, CORN, Ah Hell all of 'em.

No hablo espanol...

JaG I set up Haloscan, which I have been wanting to do. The only reason I hadn't was I didn't want to lose the comments people had already made. So I printed the ones I liked and went for it.

So jOjO said this to me:

You should seriously try to learn some new language... life becomes so interesting!

Yeah, I have thought about it, but the language that interests me most is one that is seldom used, gaelic. Like I have said before I have a thing for the Scottish Highlands and the clan culture. But it is not a language I would find myself speaking very often at least not with another person. Not to mention the incredible amount of intricasies and layers inbedded into it. So no I doubt I will learn that one.

I thought about spanish also, because it is so widely used here in the states, but like I said I get too impatient, you should have seen me in school trying to learn French. I got detention quite a lot for getting up out of my seat and bouncing around the room in utter boredom. That and they tried teaching us french by watching some spastic pineapple on a videotape and now I just can't hear that language without looking around for some spiney fruit.

I have come to believe I am destined only to know a few basic words in a few various languages. All of which come in handy when I think I may be being cussed out, by someone who thinks I don't know what they are saying. Problem there is that half of the time I mistake a word I don't know for a word I do and accuse someone of saying F*&$ you (vete a la mierda) when they really said Luck to you (suerte a usted) which of course the two phrases sound nothing like eachother in Spanish.

Ok so on another note I heard from my attorney of choice today and she is all overloaded and whatnot so she gave me a referral that I will check out tomarrow. Wish me luck on that front, I need a good lawyer to make those psycho bastards admit what they did wrong.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

blah blah blah blech

I am in a good mood. (though not as good a mood as JaG was last night.) I am restless though. There is NOTHING to do. I mimicked yesterday today though I didn't sleep in until 1:00 like I had planned. I hate it when you want to sleep in but your body doesn't. Blech!

So I bloghopped a bit, watched a bunch of unimpressive movies on TV and ate junk food, none of which tasted good, becuase I need to go grocery shopping but can't bring myself to go. Then sat on the back porch and watched the rain and played with the hamsters awhile.

I think that good rain brings out the best in me. I feel like I could jump out of my skin, and run about like a jack rabbit on a hot highway. hippity hop. Bouncing from thing to thing if only there was something to bounce to. I am in a good mood. But I am bored senseless.

I am watching Law & Order Criminal Intent and am drooling over Vincent D'Onofrio Wonder why I have such an older guy fetish of late. hmmmm maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am one horny smiley but it does seem that I am drawn to greying temples lately. Maybe I need a sugar daddy. Whaddya think?

And just cause they both just made me laugh:

Those new Jimmy Dean commercials crack me up. The ones that say things like: "We make our omlettes with eggs cuz thats how you make an omlette." I am not quite sure why they tickle me so much, but they do. And those beep beep boop credit card commercials. Anyway I obviously have nothing to blog about, so I am gonna go watch some tacky horror movie until I fall asleep. nighty nite.

Call me Lazy Ass...well no not really...that would be rude

I didn't do a damn thing today that was the tiniest bit worthwhile. I vegged and watched movies. I slept in until noon. I ran a couple errands, none of which were especially important. I think that I might copy that itinerary for tomorrow, only no errands, and maybe sleeping until 1:00. Yeah that sounds good, especially since the rain just started and is supposed to last through several days. I love rain. I think I am gonna go out and go for a walk it in it now. Nothing like a middle of the night stroll in the rain.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Snipped from JaG

you are one horny smiley

What Smiley Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I had no idea I was a horny smiley but now I do. Hmmmmm.


once uttered words can not be retrieved
they are free to loiter the air with their heavy presence
and to linger on the fringes of regret when born in haste
they may run through the wisps of frustration when liberated by fear
by the many faceless furies who speak to harm
words can scald or cradle an open heart
and echo endlessly unheeded through uncaring ears
ringing on only to be brushed away by those sporting a smiling esteem
they can break and they can build or prove indifferent
they can be wielded with malice or respect and leave empty or fulfilled
the only definite attached to words is...
once uttered words can not be retrieved


Friday, October 15, 2004

Feeling down or unappreciated?

Go here and type in your name. Hope it makes you feel better. ;)

Sucky People Suck

So I talked to the President of the Board. He starts out with is sticky sweet I am such a nice guy tone, which instantly makes me want to strangle him. I asked him if he was ready to discuss the issue with me. He says no they feel the issue has been resolved and I should not contact him anymore. So I gave him a verbal Bitch slap . Amongst other things I told him the issue was not resolved and that up to that point I probably would have settled for an apology, but now I wanted his lawyers name. He said he didn't have to give that to me, then hung up on me. He couldn't have done anything more to piss me off worse. So I contacted the lawyer again with the new information. Can't wait to see were this goes.

He turned out to be an extraordinary dick. I should have expected it though, he is in insurance after all. ;)

Friday Feast

What is your favorite beverage?

Milk, a meal just ain't a meal without it. Now on a hot day, a fountain Dr. Pepper is in order.

Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.

Well I have a computer desk but it has become a catch all that my computer only graces when I need to use the printer. (I use a laptop) I actually use one of those hospital tables so I can compute from my bed. It has my computer, my mouse, and my It's Happy Bunny mousepad on it. Oh and at the moment my cat.

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?

I guess I think I am around 8. I try to be honest, but those little white lies creep up on you. Like when you don't want to go out and you have to "wash your hair." I can honestly say I have never hurt anyone with dishonesty. If anything I use those little white lies to avoid hurting someones feelings. I am sure they'd rather think me busy than think I just don't want to do something with them.

Main Course
If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?

Um, I don't think I have ever had that desire, but let me think a minute, hmmmm, no, I still have no desire to rename a city.

What stresses you out? What calms you down?

The whole joblessness thing, that could be the cause of some of my stress. Money, that too causes stress. Any time I am at odds with my family, super stress.

As far as what calms me down, well my pillow and a good book. Playing with my pets. And taking pictures. Drawing also, well most anything creative, beading, painting, crocheting. Oh and Blogging, that seems to help too.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Fake Sucks Bootay

I have decided that I am me and screw anybody who doesn't like it. They can just suck my toe! I have a dear friend. My closest friend in the world thinks that that title entitles her to dictate to me the way my life should go. Her heart is in the right place I suppose. But I am not her, and on the surface we are so different it's pathetic. See the thing is, underneath her facade she is just like me. She pretends a lot. Her husband is a great guy, but even he admits that when she is with me, she is a totally different person. He says that when she is with me is the only time he has ever really seen her completely relaxed. Not relaxed as in hot bubble bath, but relaxed as in not performing. Not trying so hard to be the sophisticated young wife and mother. She just isn't like that. She is a great mom and wife. But play dates and milestone parties for every kid in a group of people who she only hangs out with because they have kids is just not her. To sidestep her real friends because they don't fit into that world is ridiculous. And then to try and tell those people that she doesn't like what they do and who they choose to associate with, well that's just bullshit in my book. (and I have a rather long and wordy book mind you)

I am the one she calls at two AM to tell about the kick ass book she is reading, or ask if I can remember that time we did something (usually something stupid) or if I just want to go on a middle of the night walk and gab session (we are both night owls). I am the one who she asks to read her poems that she won't show anyone else because they might think she is weird. I am the one who she bitches about her husband, kids, and job too.

But when she has a party, I am the one she doesn't call at all. Cuz at parties we have to have our "couple" friends. The friends who were really the husbands friends before they got married and who all got married at the same time and had kids together. The friends who in my opinion remind me of twisted clones of each other. Like the Borg you must assimilate to be cool. Which of course would never happen as I would never change just get in with a group of people whom I find pathetic in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who are that way, just the ones that pretend to be, and then expect you to follow suit.

Ok enough about that.

Don't call her tripod

Another picture of my kitty. I don't know if I mentioned that she is three legged. I took this one this morning, it was a nice day. Posted by Hello

How sweet

My Niece Ky made this for me when she was 6. She is a freshman in Highschool now. And it is still hanging on my bullitan board. It fell off the board last year and my 2 year old nephew crumpled it, and threw it away. I dug it back out when I got home and found it missing. thank goodness I had already emptied the garbage that day! Anyway, it's one of my favorite things. Love ya Ky. Posted by Hello

55 things about me (other 46 to come)

1. I am in a torrid romance triangle including words, keyboard, and myself.
2. When I am nervous I ramble on and on and on and on.
3. When I am not so nervous, if I like the subject I ramble on and on and on.
4. I am a Pisces and the description of a Pisces suits me well. Pisces Profile
5. Once I start playing on Pogo I can't stop until forced to do so.
6. I am desperate to get another tattoo.
7. I absolutely cannot sleep without my sobakowa wheat husk pillows.
8. I am 25 years old going on 16.
9. I won't leave the house without lipstick
10. Once I caught a wild raccoon in my backyard, he didn't like the box.
11. I still like to go outside and play in the rain.
12. Once I tried to outrun a cop. Only I didn't know it was a cop at the time.
13. It kills me to see a closed window. (even in the dead of winter)
14. If I could never wear shoes again, I would happily.
15. I like to do quizzes that tell me exactly how imbecilic I am.
16. I love the smell of burnt matches.
17. I have spent over three hours in the bath because I didn't want to stop reading until I finished the book.
18. I will get out of bed in the middle of the night to watch a thunder and lightning storm.
19. I can't sleep without my cat.
20. I talk to my mommy EVERY day regardless of where we are.
21. I have never left the West Coast (Ore. Wash. & Calif.)
22. I am not really sure what my natural hair color is anymore.
23. I could blow an entire paycheck at Borders.
24. I have big feet. :( that makes me sad, cuz I can't get cool shoes.
25. I read every night before I go to bed.
26. I have 2 addictions, one is caffeine.
27. I have a sad appreciation for B grade horror movies.
28. I carry a book, notepad, digital camera, and spare batteries everywhere I go.
29. I am learning how to play my guitar.
30. I am blind as a bat without my glasses or contacts.
31. I eat ice compulsively.
32. I pierced my own ears, by shoving the earrings through my earlobes.
33. I don't get hangovers, which irritates a lot of people when they do.
34. I rarely go to bed before 1 am.
35. My other addiction is music. I buy music on whims without even knowing if I like the artist.
36. I worship my laptop.
37. I have lived in the same town since I was in second grade.
38. I can count my true friends on one hand.
39. 5 people in this world know all there is to know about me, and I am not one of them.
40. I was the captain of my high school volleyball and basketball teams.
41. I kick ass at badmitton.
42. I can draw faces, horses and midievil gowns, but nothing else.
43. I make beaded jewelry.
44. I drive a stick.
45. I am obsessed with Scotland
46. My favorite movie ever is Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken. I am such a sap.
47. I go through a good 10 blank CD's a week, burning music for everyone.
48. I collect Journals.
49. I read Tarot Cards.
50. I am a Law & Order Buff.
51. I have two older sisters. I am the baby.
52. I am lost without my family.
53. I like to drive with the music all the way up.
54. My favorite song is Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman
55. My Favorite book is Lioness Rampant

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


So I went and vamped up the page a bit. I was feeling like I wanted a little blue, and I decided to use one of my favorite images. I toyed with it a bit to fit my color scheme though. An angel shedding her wings for the love of the mortal world. Giving up forever for only a day. I am jealous of her. Luis Royo was a very talented artist, and this was one of his only, softer I guess, images.

So I made a couple calls today in an attempt to facilitate a negotiation between the former employers and myself. I hope to hear more about that by tomarrow. We'll see how it goes.

I got The Day After Tommarow today. I saw it when it was in the theaters. But now I can freeze frame on the Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid closeups. Yes Dennis Quaid. He is hot. Like Sean Connery will always be hot. There is just somthing about them. Makes a girls heart go all pitter patter and what not.

I've decided to drive up to the cliffs this weekend and take some pictures of the view up there, you will be amazed at how beautiful it is up there. On the way back I am gonna snap off some shots of the Brice Creek Hiking trail. By the time I'm done you all will want to move to Oregon. ;)

Well the bubble bath calls, tata till tomarrow.

Stole from Bret

My Bloginality is INFP!!!

As an INFP, you are Intraverted, iNtuative, Feeling , Perceiving.
This makes your primary focus on Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition.

This is defined as a NF personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Idealist (Identity Seeking) type, and more specifically the Healers or Idealist

As a weblogger, you have wonderful words to express your feelings because of your idealism. Because you don't like conflict, you may be likely to make one list of links and leave it for a long time without updating for fear of offending.

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualitie s.

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--h er own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse.

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Micro Nibblies

And these are BABIES! They look like little pink peanuts with legs, and are about the size of the tip of your finger. I thinkn they are cute, even if my cousin keeps trying to call them bass bait. How rude! :) Posted by Hello

Papa Smurf

Here is one more of Poppy, he liked popsicles. This was shortly after he and Beaver had their first litter. Posted by Hello

The Original Fuzz Balls Now Gone Away

This is a picture of Beaver (brown) and Poppy, and Bizzy and Dizzy, My original Siberian Hamsters, these four have now all died, Dizzy being the last to go yesterday. But they have left behind 12 of their ofspring and a brand new litter of four included. They lived into old age as far as thier kind goes. But I am still sad. :( Posted by Hello

Views from the mountain

And here is the view from the campsite in the morning. Those are the Cascades. Posted by Hello
Here is another from on the way off the mountain, to go home for the night. Mom took this one, Thats her in the side mirror of the pick-up. Posted by Hello
Here is one sunset shot from the campsite. Thats dad's pick-up also. Posted by Hello