Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Does it wet your appettite for more?

Ok so my loyal readers know I am making an effort to write a book. I am going back through what I already have and fleshing it out and editing and DELETING ALOT, just to turn around and re-write what I erased. What I am asking of you dear friends is to wade through this scene and tell me HONESTLY what you think of it. I can take critisism and thrive upon it so lay it on me, thanks!


Sabra had just finished saddling Storm when she sensed Raoul behind her. "I had begun to worry that you would be late for your match." she said showing no emotion.

"It's nice to know you care." He said coolly to her rigid back. He waited for her response and when he received none he continued. "I'll not have you wandering off alone again." He ordered, taking a step closer to her turned back.

"I may be your squire but you are NOT my father!" She growled while turning to face him, unprepared for how close he was to her. In the same moment he stepped into her, placing one hand at the nape of her neck and the other at her cheek, pinning her to the stable wall.

"No," he whispered, "I am not your father, and it is a good thing too, because if I were, I'd have to take you across my lap and throttle you, for your lack of respect!" He made the mistake of looking into her eyes and was lost to them, "How..?" he began to ask while leaning in to kiss her.

Sabra's body crackled with heat, the moment he touched her, her blood turned to fire, and her mind reverted to instincts she didn't know she possessed, she hungrily returned his kiss. Her hands crept up his back to tangle in his hair and his arms supported her weight, the world became nothing, all there was, was this kiss, until an approaching footfall disturbed their bliss.

Raoul came to his senses first, stepping away from her while still holding her weight against the wall. "I think you've bewitched me." He whispered, "You've damned me that's certain, now at least pretend to be composed someone comes." He removed his hands and though her knees continued to tremble her legs supported her weight on their own.

Caroline entered the stable to find Sabra rubbing down Storm and Raoul donning his chain mail, both seemed flushed. She watched them fidget for a few moments before remarking, "It's a bit warm in here, I think we'd all do well t' find some fresh air, and M'Lord ye'r due on the tilting fields soon."

Raoul looked up at Sabra's maid, and wondered when she had arrived at Morenterre and why she seemed to be watching him so closely with her steady brown eyes. Finally she smiled and he faintly returned the gesture.

"I think you are right. Now if my squire is done with my mount I'll be off." Sabra turned and silently offered him Storm's reigns and his helm, he accepted them with a cool smile, "Thanks kid." he said while turning his back to her and as he passed took Caroline's hand bowed and kissed the back of it, "It was a pleasure to be in your company again and I look forward to our next encounter." Then walked passed her.

Caroline turned to Sabra and wondered if she was aware that she openly balked, "M'Lady, close yer mouth, or a fly may fly in." When Sabra frowned Caroline smiled and added, "Soon ye'll learn how to tell when a man's after ye'r attention."


Ok Storm rider, his horse was named a really long time ago, so it wasn't named after you. But he is a battle stallion so I am sure you would have been okay with that.

Concensus time boys and girls......Cheesy or No????

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