Welcome to Memesville I hope you enjoy your stay!

I think I enjoyed my day off today. Imagine that. I started off by going down to my sucky ass bank and emptying my account. Those bastards are welcome to kiss my lilly white bootay. So it was fun telling them off by closing out and going elsewhere. Then I came home and did the usual stuff, laundry, dishes, etc. Then I settled down in my bed and read for a good 3 hours. Then spent a while working on Sissy's Page. Made a much overdue post on my family's webpage and to top it all off my nails are perfectly painted. All in all it was highly uneventful, which works all too well for me!

I got an email yesturday asking me what my tatoo looked like so here is a picture: I want another one, or two, they can be addicting. I drew this one but I want a couple others that an artist I like drew.

Okay so Kunaal tagged me so here goes....

If I Could Be A...


If I could be a scientist... I would totally change up those white lab jackets for something sexier.

If I could be a farmer... I'd raise pygmy goats and feed all the barn cats.

If I could be a musician... I'd write all my own songs.

If I could be a doctor... I'd probably pass out a lot, needles = heebie jeebies.

If I could be a painter... I'd make a lot of skyscapes.

If I could be a gardener... my yard would be prettier.

If I could be a missionary... I'd be a boring position wink wink!

If I could be a chef... I'd make a lot of cheesy things...I like cheese.

If I could be an architect... I'd make houses with doors big enough to get your furnature through without smashing your fingers.

If I could be a linguist... Aren't I one already?

If I could be a psychologist... I'd screw with people's minds.

If I could be a librarian... I'd save a lot of money on books.

If I could be an athlete... I'd play basketball or Volleyball, I was the captain on both of my school teams, but I sucked at those compared to the badass I was at badmitton!

If I could be a lawyer... hate life, public speaking, ugg no thanks.

If I could be an innkeeper... I'd keep an Inn I guess... ???

If I could be a professor... I'd be pretty damn smart!

If I could be a writer... Uh okay anyone who knows me knows that I do write, and to be able to do that as a profession well I am quite sure I'd shit myself with excitement everyday. Ok well that kinda sounded gross, but oh well.

If I could be a backup dancer... I'd shoot myself I think, yeah shoot myself.

If I could be a llama-rider... I'd wear goggles they can spit like a son of a...

If I could be a bonnie pirate... okay I am ignorant, What the hell is a bonnie pirate? If the question was if I could DO a pirate I would totally have to say YES it were Capt. Jack Sparrow....Hello Johnny!

If I could be a midget stripper... I probablly wouldn't get very high up the pole. ;)

If I could be a proctologist... No, just no, we won't go there!

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... I'd have an endless supply of guests from my family alone!

If I could be an actor... I'd so do movies with Ryan Reynolds!

If I could be a judge... I'd be judgemental

If I could be a Jedi... I'd totally smack Yoda cuz his voice is supa annoying.

If I could be a mob boss... I'd put a hit out on the ex-bosslady!

If I could be a personal trainer... I'd probably own a lot of spandex.

If I could be a professional race car driver... it would piss off my brother in law!
If I could be a stand-up comedian... I'd get boo-ed off the stage a lot.

If I could be an artist... I would thoroughly enjooy life.

It is also FEAST time:


Appetizer
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
My car, My house, My storage shed, and my P.O. box

Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
I am thinking ass surfing was sorta spontanious.

Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
Hands Down, my Dad.

Main Course
If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
How to always have the last word.

Dessert
Name a recent fad you've tried.
Uhhh I think maybe I am not too awful cool cuz I can't think of any, either that or I am just too numb-brained at the moment...?

Well That's all for now folks! Night Night

I'm a glutton for punishment

I was up until 3 am watching that stupid movie last night and this morning I got a 7 am wakeup call asking me to come into work on my day off. My dumb ass said yes. I clocked in at 8:30 and was supposed to be on my merry way at 2:30 in the afternoon. HA, Ya right. The person I filled in for was from stock so I spent my time until 2:30 unpacking and hanging up clothes, sorting and nubbing them with size caps. As I get ready to go clock out at 2:30 the Manager (AKA Whip cracker ;) asks me if I would mind staying until 3:30. I agree, hey it's just one more hour right? Of course at this point I haven't had anything to eat or drink all day except for water because I came straight into work out of bed and the vending machine is a sad little affair, so I am thinking an hour I can handle, but after that I'M DONE. HA again. 6 o clock and 6 hummers later I was finally clocking out. No Stormy not that kind of Hummer. A hummer at work is a great big rack of merchandise that needs to be ran to the floor and displayed and shelved. It was a long day. But hey I got to wear jeans to work, and comfy shoes, so I won't bitch too much. Tomorrow I am supposed to have a day off. And what is sad is the fact that if I get called in again, I'll go. I need the money I'm a po beeotch.

Bored.....A Lot.

Anyone who wants to is welcome to buy me THESE You can send them to P.O. Box 1180, Cottage Grove, OR 97424. I will be waiting and so will my feet. I tried them out at the mall and they are excellent, but I be broke, so they are officially wishlisted, sigh!

Yesterday was a real pisser. I had a nice blow up at my bank and they ended up screwing me twelve ways from Sunday. Bastards tried to overdraft me by some $1800.00. Then when I called them on their Bullsh*t the bank manager tried to talk down to me like I was some little two year old that was begging to be patronized. Crusty Old Cow! So today I had to go and open a new account in Eugene. They gave me luggage for opening an account there. Nice Perk.

I went over and got my niece to help me wash my car and we stopped by the river and took some pictures on the way to my place. When I am done here I will post them over on my photoblog. A couple cute ones of her and several of a little NUTRIA that was playing around by the geese. So do go by and check out the new pictures.

Right now I am bored wittless. So bored that I am actually watching a movie called Mansquito , yes sad and pathetic I know. I suppose I will go post those pictures and then paint my toes a nice bright shade of blue. Bubye!

damn thing ate it!

I was driving through the clouds last night on my way home from work. The fog was so thick that if my speedometer wasn't working I would have thought I was parked. But it was a nice drive home as it was before 11 o clock at night. I was able to crawl into my neglected bed before midnight for the first time in many days. Then of course I slept in until nearly noon.

I want to thank Storm Rider for granting me the opportunity to pull my hair out in frustration. After he "sang" to me I had to go digging to find my copy of that song because he did successfully get it stuck in my head and I wanted to actually hear it sung with a decent voice (very unlike my own). It took me forever and I tore apart several boxes before I found it. I was elated however when I did find it. So I pop it in the tape deck of my stereo, and sure as shit the damn thing ate the tape! A lot of foul language escaped my innocent lips (HA!) after that. Oh well I will try to splice it later and if that doesn't work I will have to (GASP) download it (legally of course....uh yeah leagally.

Ok now I am off to slip my toes into my chenille socks and scoot on off to be my bosses bitch for the night. Who am I kidding I think I actually like my job but I still think sometimes they treat the associates like in house whipping girls (and a couple boys too). All with a synical little smirk on their faces. Anyway, till tomarrow!

The Horizon's on Fire

The sky was just beautiful last night. I haven't seen such deep red in the sky in a long time. And then around 2:30 in the morning I had to crawl out of bed and go stand outside and watch the most intense thunderstorm I have seen in years. Ground rumbling thunder and lightning so bright it was like noon in the middle of the night. When I went back to bed I ended up with the cat tangled up in my hair because she was afraid of the thunder. It just reminded me why I love living here so much. It is such a flat out gorgeous place. That and I love the rain.

I have the Cowboy Troy song stuck in my head..."I play chicken with the train, play chicken with the train train uh-huh uh-huh" can someone please sing me something else so I can get it out of my head? Come on, PLEASE?!?!

It's finally SUNNY!

Believe it or not I did not sleep the day away yesterday. I didn't even sleep in. I Spring cleaned. I know I am sick and twisted. I fully regret not taking advantage of my day off to get some extra sleep. Sleeping is much more enjoyable than, cleaning closets, vaccuuming, dishes, laundry, and giving the cat a bath. I have fresh scabs to reward my determination at getting the furball cleaned too.

I did find the time to take some nice photos though. Which I am posting on the photoblog.

The rain has finally gone away for a couple of days and we have sun and 70 degrees. I wish I could wear shorts to work, it's beautiful out and I need some color.
I gotta go get ready for work, but I'll be back with a "real" post tomarrow afternoon.

Tired

I went in to work this morning at 9:30. I ended up getting off work tonight at 9:30. It was a long day. Suffice to say it is definately bedtime. Til tomarrow.

flipping the proverbial BITCH SWITCH

Really wanna know how to set me off? Here are a couple of ways:

* Bring 50+ garments to my counter, stand there looking at me like I am a sloth because it is taking so long to de-hanger them, then jump in when there are 3 things left and offer to help.

* Wait until after I have rang up four bags full of items before you decide maybe you got too much and send me to fish out several random pieces that ultimately are at the bottom of the huge bags.

* Enter my lunch break on the computer wrong and then tell me that because I missed it I can no longer have it at all.

* Look right at me while I am doing the closing call over the loudspeaker and turn around and keep shopping. Continue to ignore the second and third calls and when you are finally escorted to the front of the store spend 45 minutes trying to make up your mind on what items you really want to purchase and change method of payment a total of 6, yes I said 6 times.

* OK so it was only 3 times, but it took the same amount of time as 6!

I think I really could go on and on about this topic but I wouldn't want to appear to be a whiner. So next time I will tell all ya'll the things I really like about my job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wrote this on my break the other night and thought I'd post it:

I'm Cold

Winter has clung to Spring and left it's chilly hand across my chest

It whispers over the Sun and breaks against my soul stealing away my breath.

Here I am left with little to thaw my frosty past

hungry to find some kind of warmth that lasts.

Flashes of heat have graced my flesh

Burnt sorrow for a moment, but theres always so much left.

I want only to melt into some other place in the world

rather than stay here in this false Spring, a frozen souled girl

Yet I wake each day to the same bit of frost

Holding on to empty shell, a lonely girl lost.

JM 4/15/05...3:47PM

I call this photo "All f*$#ed Up"

Highway Robbery? I'd say so!

Belly up, it's time to eat...

I have to close again tonight but then I get to thoroughly enjoy an entire weekend, WOOHOO! I hafta skiddaddle for now but I did have time to fill your tummy's. Until tomarrow!

FEAST Time again!

Appetizer

What was your first "real" job?
A full time Child care provider. Let me tell you that is a sure fire form of birth control! But I do love my nieces and nephews who were the kids I had. I did that for damn near 10 years.

Soup

Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?
I actually don't really have to go anywhere specific. Music is a big spark for me, but I also find inspiration in books, oddly in rain and just about anything outside.

Salad

Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when...
...my sister flashes the guy in the Carls Jr. drive thru....when my dad makes me skip at the grocery store....when my niece yells "I farted!" at the top of her lungs while shopping....and so very many more.

Main Course

What values did your parents instill in you?
integrity, empathy, confidence (most of the time), respect, and humility.

Dessert

Name 3 fads from your teenage years.
mile high hair, cropped pants, can you say spandex?

Fuzzball Death Match

OK my cat is a satanic little fur ball! Of course I am feeling a little evil also posting this picture. This was just a few minutes ago out in the garage. The mouse is giving almost as good as its getting. They have been doing battle most of the night. I finally rescued the little rodent and took it out to the swamp at the end of our road and let it go. She (the cat) thinks she is a ferocious beast, but though she has killed and eaten them before she tends just to play with the little guys until she notices that someone is looking and then she gets all hellcat on them.

Thought this photo came out well. When I got home and parked my car I just thought the sky looked nice through my rain speckled window. Isn't it perdyful?

So I have decided that the biggest difference between Case Management and Retail is that instead of taking a bunch of Bullshit from one person (evil ex-boss-bitch) I get the privilege of bending over and taking it hard from a hundred or so everyday. Makes a girl feel awful special. On a positive note I think I would still rather get it from a bunch of strangers than that ol' rag ho I used to work for.

Anyhoo, I think I am off to soak in the tub and read a good book, if I don't fall asleep first. Ta Ta boys and girls!

Infomercials Suck

Well I am off to work. The 2:30-11:30 shift. So I won't be home until late. I have decided that I am irritated about working nights MOSTLY because I miss my shows. How pathetic is that? When I get home there is nothing on but infomercials I have seen a thousand times. I can't program to record because I don't have autotune on my reciever. Blah! I guess I have to settle for seeing movies at night. Because there is no way I can go straight to bed when I get home at night, I have to take a couple hours to wind down. But there is that infomercial for the Bullet or whatever it is called. I want one of those. It appears to be a handy little gadget. But over all infomercials are pretty much evil. They convince unsuspecting insomniacs to purchase junk they never would have wanted and will probably never use. Case in point: the huge juicer in my bottom cupboard. Ta fer now, I am off to bust my bootay at work.

Yeah I am still alive

It was a really long week. Late, late nights and sick days spent in bed hoping to be put out of my misery. I am finally feeling better, though I have a f*&^ed up toe that I am damned near ready to just chop off.

I got off work fairly early Friday night (5 pm)and just came home and saw my family. It is weird that my working at night completely isolated me from my family. When I got home everyone is in bed and when they leave for work I am in bed, dead to the world. That is something I really don't deal with well. I am really close with my family, even those I do not live with I typically talk to my sisters everyday and see all the neices and nephews as regularly as I can. Night hours has put a hamper on that and I am thrilled that I only work 3 nights this week. Oh and did I mention retail sucks! That isn't really fair I really like my job but it can be draining in a completely different way than case management was. If the pay was comperable I think I would choose retail, as long as I could buy lots and lots of comfy shoes. Comfy shoes are a must. That and my heated and massaging foot bath.

I spent today running errands in my newly fixed car. It looks so much better without a huge dent in the fender. and doing maintenence on said car. Oil change, changing the wipers, detailing it and searching for the elusive blown fuse in the fusebox that didn't have a fuse key. Of course it was the last fuse I tried which is more annoying because it isn't exactly easy to get to. I spent an hour pretty much standing on my head to find it.

Anyway I plan to blog hop in the morning to catch up on everyones posts. Hope everyone had a good week. Now pull up a chair and get ready to fill your tummy:

Feast time, though a little late:

Appetizer - What is a symbol that inspires you?

The Creativity Rune Symbol

Which can be bought for me Here . Sissy you can point that out to mom okay?! I love Runes and this is my favorite one to pull from the bag.

Soup - Name something (either serious or funny) that has happened in your life that you would consider a miracle.
That I was born to my parents. I couldn't ask for a better set. My Father would sacrifice everything he has for his girls and my mom would bare her nails and go to battle for us at the drop of a hat. They support all three of us completely and have always, ALWAYS, been the rock that grounds not only us but even took in and in a sense adopted our childhood friends and became parents to them as well.

Salad - How do you handle criticism?
If it is delivered constructively, pretty well. Deliver it with even a hint of "asshole" in your voice and you better back up cuz the Bitch switch has been flipped.

Main Course - Complete this sentence: I feel alone when...
...I breathe. Well that sounds extreme, but I am pretty introverted, even though most people wouldn't guess that when they first meet me. I tend to come off as a loud smart ass to new people.

Dessert - Name one TV show you wouldn't want to be caught dead watching.
OK I admit it, when I used to take care of my nephew, I used to really get into those Pokemon episodes. I was enthralled with the redheads ponytail that stuck out of the side of her head. ;)

OH! Everyone should go congradulate Sissy on setting her wedding date! Till tomarrow....buhbye!

These are two of the poems I have had published. I get more good feedback from Breath but I prefer Faltered senses. I wrote Breath when I was 14 and Faltered when I was 19. I think you get a sense of the difference in my age when you read them. The first half of Breath seems to be much younger to me. I think my writing has grown into something a lot different than either of these but they both hold a special place in my writing past.

Smokes in the Closet

My Gramma came up for Easter and she brought this pack of Cigarettes with her. They may look familiar to you Kris since they are a pack we stole from your mom back when we were like 11. Gramma found them in her guest room closet where we hid them when you went with me to Cave Junction to visit. They had been there for like 15 years! She blamed them on my sister cuz I was the little angel. Talk about a blast from the past, the moment I saw them I went straight back to that summer. It wasn't too long after that when you moved away from Grove.

Work is going good, though I am getting a bit sick so it sorta sucks to be icky and on your feet all day. But I like my job more now than I did my first week. And I have been given a quasi-promotion already though they technically can't do that for 5 more months. More hours, rarely work on the weekend, and set shifts, are pretty nice.

Car is still not fixed and yes brother in law is doing it for free but I have to pay for the parts. Anyhow I am off to the store and then to get some writing done, more later!

Friday Feast

Hey all, it's Friday Feast time...and thank GAWD it's Friday! I have two days off!!


Appetizer - Describe your week in one word.
A Blur (yeah that is a word and a letter but hey, who cares)

Soup - Tell about a funny practical joke that you've played on someone (or that was played on you!).
I truley cannot think of any. But if I do I will definately post it.

Salad - Name someone you had a crush on when you were a kid.
I was a HUGE Corey Haim freak! I just thought he was the hottest guy ever! I still think he has the cutest grin EVER!

Main Course - If you were a member of royalty, what would your title be?
Some would say her Royal Bitchiness...I would say they are probably right.

Dessert - What colors are the clothes you are wearing today?
Steel Gray Slacks and a Pink peasant blouse.

I am getting sick again so I am going to take some NyQuil now and get some much needed sleep. I will be back with a REAL post tomarrow. For now, Goodnight, sniff sniff, cough, sniff. :)