I am tiwad so tiwad and sweepy

I hate baby talk, so I don't know why I use it so much. But it was a long day.

It started out in Springfield at the Beauty College being a facial model for my sister. It would have been nice if I had not had to listen to music that could only be described as a LooneyToon soundtrack gone bad. Very bad. It is weird though having your face massaged especially the part where you get your face thumped like they do when the massage your back. I dunno I am a simple girl and I think it felt funny. Then I had to sit still while she put makeup on me, I hate it when other people put makeup on me. I am the only one who does it right! ;) Anyway she scored a 91 which is pretty good. She got marked down for taking 1 minute too long on tweezing my brows, and because she didn't put lipliner on me. She said that pissed her off since I have full lips and didn't need it. Oh well she got a good grade anyway.

Then I sat through a near two hour interview, at the end of which they made me pee in a cup which makes me believe I got the job. Though I won't count my chickens before they're hatched. I hadn't peed all day though so the technition was a little surprised when I gave her a pint-O-pee. She assured me that she would have settled for far less. I should hear from them tomorrow so we'll see.

Thanks for all the well wishes I appreciate them.

In Honor of Halloween. So one year I asked my Dad to help me make a princess costume for Halloween. This is what I got. There are two pillows stuffed in my pants, one in the front and one in the back. And incase you can't tell that is a foam fish hanging from my bamboo pole. Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did? On a side note though, I did win for most origonal costume.  

Cross your fingers for me

Tomarroow will be a hectic day. First driving to Springfield to model for my sister at Beauty school. and then rushing back to Grove for an.....INTERVIEW! Not the first choice of jobs I'd like but it has it's perks, one of which would be an employee discount. *WINK WINK* So wish me luck huh, I could use it.

Yep Another one...but you can skip it if ya want ;)

K Got it from JaG I am sure my answers are not nearly as comical as hers though.

FIRSTS
First best friend: I would have to say Kris was the first best friend I ever had.
First car: Pontiac Pheonix hatchback for like two weeks before I killed it. Poor thing.
First real kiss: I was in like third grade and the boy acros the street tried jamming his tongue down my throat and sticking his hand up my shirt. I remember thinking where do people get off thinking a slimey foreign object in their mouth is nice? I later found out he had a saliva problem.
First screen name: Lyric24045
First self purchased album: I think the first one I bought with my own money was "the Cranberries" but I can't be too sure.
First funeral: My Grandpa I remember being numb because I didn't believe it, plus it was my birthday and I was completely confused on how to react to recieving gifts when my Grandpa just died.
First pets: The first pets we had that I really remember were a springer spaniel named Nikki and a cocker spaniel named Chauncey Sunburst Auveco (but we called him Bonso)
First piercing/tattoo: Got my ears pierced sometime in grade school. Got my first tattoo with my mom and Sissy when I was 18. I can't wait to get another.
First credit card: Mastercard.
First true love: Words! No one else could I consider "True" only infatuation.
First enemy; Besides myself? Hmmm... I guess that would be M. But we are like sisters now. But I really hated her at first.
First big trip: Ha the farthest from Oregon I have ever been is Vancouver Washington.
First music you remember hearing in your house: Groovin by the Rascalls and a lot of the Doobie Brothers But most importantly ;) a Taste of Honey.


LASTS
Last cigarette: I guess when I was 19, I never really picked up the habit.
Last car ride: Yesterday afternoon, driving home from Blockbuster. I got two free brand new movies including "Walking Tall" The Rock is so very yummy.
Last kiss: MrsKitty just licked me does that count?
Last good cry: The other day though I honestly do not recall what prompted it it was something on TV, probably a coffee commercial, I am such a wuss.
Last library book checked out: Daily Life in Midaevil History.
Last book bought: Trickster by Tamora Pierce
Last movie seen: I think the last movie I watched was the Punisher. MMMMMMMM Thomas Jane all buff and sweaty like. ;)
Last beverage drank: Ice Water, I am still eating the ice cubes.
Last food consumed: Tuna Salad on Crackers
Last crush: Did I mention Thomas Janes nice 6 pac?
Last phone call: Just hung up with my other sister to confirm that I would be a model for her beauty school test.
Last time showered: About two hours ago, I tied up my hair after and it is still pretty wet.
Last shoes worn: sandals from the car.

Last item bought: Bread
Last annoyance: trying to clip MrsKitty's claws and she wouldn't hold still.
Last time wanting to die: I can't really recall ever wanting to.
Last time scolded: Yesterday for having all the doors and windows open.

RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends? K, M, BB, Sissy, other Sis, Mom, all the nieces and nephews ( I am like a big little kid you see) Ahhhhhhh ML, MD, and those are all I consider the best.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? That would be a negative.

FASHION STUFF
Where is your favorite place to shop? Anywhere if I have mooolah to spend..
Any tattoos or piercings? I already answered that, Duh

SPECIFICS
Do you do drugs? I don't really even drink, but if the occassion is right I am no prude.
What kind of shampoo do you use? Aussie right now, smells gooooood!
What are you most scared of? Being Alone for too long
What are you listening to right now? the TV in the background, the investigators on Court TV.
Where do you want to get married? Scottish Highlands
How many buddies are online right now? I dunno my messenger took a crap and died on me.
What would you change about yourself? My Will Power I guess


FAVOURITES
Color: blue
Food: Manicotti I am sooo craving it right now.
Boy's names: Wesley, Micheal
Girl's names: Sabrae, Rocquelyn
Subjects in school: History and English
Animals: Cats!!
Sports: Volleyball and Basketball were my sports
Perfume: Wild musk if I have to wear any.
cologne: Drakkar and Old Spice.

HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath? Every single one of the kids ;)
Smoked? Yes
Bungee jumped? Not yet!
Made yourself throw up? Ouch NO!
Skinny dipped? Nope I am a good sweet little angel.
Been in love? I don't think so??
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? I've done that a few times, yes.
Pictured your crush naked? Of Course!
Actually seen your crush naked? Every day!
Cried when someone died? I would be kind heartless if I didn't wouldn't I?
Lied? Who hasn't?
Fallen for your best friend? Not so Much.
Been rejected? O yeah. It was a long time ago though....
Rejected someone? I wouldn't say so.
Used someone? Probably.
Done something you regret? I don't regret because that is a waste of time. I learn and don't repeat.

CURRENT
Clothes: Navy shorts, black V nect Tee and white ankle socks.
Music: I am listning to Fleetwood Mac Rumours, a classic!
Make-up: Right now none
Annoyance: The person talking baby talk on the TV.
Smell: The nieghbor is burning a fire in her fireplace, smells wonderful
Favorite artist: My Dad, he is really skilled but he doesn't draw that often anymore.
Desktop picture:




CD in player: I just said Fleetwood Mac
DVD in player: Walking Tall.
Color of toenails: Blue Chrome

ARE YOU
Understanding: I want to be but sometimes I just don't get it.
Open-minded: Yes.
Arrogant: No.
Insecure: Sometimes, which is more than I would like.
Interesting: I guess I should ask you that huh.
Hungry: no I had lunch thanx!
Smart: In certain areas Yes in others not so much.
Moody: Always.
Hardworking: Yes unless I don't have to be.
Organized: In certain areas of my life!
Healthy: Healthier than some would guess.
Shy: moreso than some would guess when they meet me.
Attractive: Again I think I am the wrong one to ask.
Bored easily: Definately.
Responsible: Yeah.
Obsessed: With my blog, yes. (me too JaB)
Angry: Not right now.
Sad: Not right now either.
Disappointed: All the time
Happy: Yes!
Hyper: Not now.
Trusting: Yes if I am placing the trust in the right people.
Talkative: Heck Yeah.
Legal: Like I said I am a good Girl

WHODOYOUWANNA
Kill: No one I like my freedom thanx.
Slap: Ex-Bosslady.
Get high with: If anyone? M she was the funniest.
Look like: Myself.

WHICHISBETTER
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi.
Flowers or candy: Flowers
Tall or short: Tall. Since I am near 6 ft.

RANDOM
In the morning I am: Grumpy.
All I need are: 12 extra hours a day.
Love is: A many splendored thing
I dream about: getting published again.
What do you notice first: Arms.
Last person you danced with: I haven't danced in 4-eva.
Worst question to ask: Will you get that off the top shelf for me?
Who makes you laugh the most: I laugh at everything I am a dork
Who makes you smile: ever-thing.
Wish you were younger: All the time.

NUMBER OF
Times I have had my heart broken: Every day I think.
Of hearts I have broken:None that I am aware of besides my own

Holy Crap that took forever!!!

screw the muse

I am slowly emerging from a bout of writer's block. I think I have been intimidated by my book. Or at least the prospect of its completion. I have known for years how this storyline would play out, since well before I actually started to write it down. I think I have just been worried about what would happen if it got "done". I have become attatched to my characters and their world. There is the slightest bit of me in each of them. If I get done, I think I will be sad to not be a part of their world anymore.

But then I came to the conclusion that since I had planned to make it a series anyway, I wouldn't be losing anything at all. I would just bring them back more prominently than I had previously planned to. That helped for a while, and then I started having trouble writing what I thought would be well received by an audience. I wanted something more real and raw than what my Muse was giving me. So again I set the book aside, determined to wait her out, hoping eventually she'd give me something good to work with.

No such luck. She seems to be as stubborn as I am. So I finally stopped waiting and started writing the rough edged realness I wanted and low and behold it is coming to me far easier than the forced mass appeal crap I had tried so hard to milk from my muse.

So I say screw the muse! She's overrated anyway. I'll do this my way!

sidenote: Still no word from the attorney, maybe I should look into another one.

I wish I was clever

But I'm not so you'll have to suffer with me. ;-)

So I am going to rant about the things I think are beyond riddiculous. Besides myself of course.

Soap opera story lines: HELLO, am I the only one who remembers when the plots were feesible if not too incredibly predictable? And don't even get me started on when replacement actor/actresses look NOTHING like the original. Since I haven't been working I have caught a couple episodes and though I admit I have found a couple engrossing, I still find them just terrible. I find myself watching just to see how many days they will drag out what could have only taken place in one night. Or hour for that matter.

The McDonalds commercials: I am so NOT lovin' it! I am near the point of giving up their tasty fries in a boycott due to suck ass marketing.

Movie Critics: I never agree with them, because they seem to have forgotten how to sit back and enjoy a movie, they only care about the technical crap that I could care less about. I won't say what I think of the price of movies at the theaters these days, I don't think I need to.

I hate that if I want to watch music videos on MTV I have to tune in at the ass crack of dawn or well after midnight to see them.

I hate that whenever I need gas is exactly when every other shmuck in town needs it too and I end up waiting forever. Additionally it is ALWAYS when I am running late.

I hate that you can't get a ticket for driving too slow. I mean come on 25 in a 40? get off the road if you wanted to take a walk you could have left your car at home!

I hate the idiots who stop ten feet away from the stoplight so they don't trip the under road switch that prompts the light.

I hate the parents who let their kids go out soliciting to buy cookies or sponsor them for a spell-a-thon or whatever at seven in the morning on a Sunday. Sick people, getting out of bed before the sun is midway over head!

And I hate that I can't think of anymore at the moment but they will come to me, they always do. Till then~

for no particular reason at all

No Stranger

I am no stranger to shame. He has a niche in my closet. I pull him out regularly and shroud myself in his darkness. Shame is the only real promise I've kept to myself. And he's been reliable. No, Shame is not a stranger we know each other well. If I thought I could speak in the language of flowers, Shame was there to correct my delusion. Shame's face has been loitering in the reflection of my teardrops since my memory began. Shame is the truth that colors my cheeks and bows my head. Shame's been my sorrow and my redemption, and my world turns at his whim. I hope he has call to be kind to me. I am no stranger to Shame, though I'd like to grow apart.

(c) Jessica Mitchell
092902

Lazy Day

I was such a bum today. I slept in until nearly noon! Given I was up until 3:30 because I made the mistake of picking up my book to help "tire" my eyes. I ended up reading the whole damn book. It was really good. So after I got up I watched some really boring movie because I was just lazy to get up and grab the remote. I played with my cat, read some more then took my nieces home to their dad's house. Then I came home had homemade turkey noodle soup, played with the cat some more, read some more, wrote a couple pages in the book, watched some more TV, and just vegetated.

I can't wait to hear from the attorney I contacted, I wanna get this ball rolling while I am still all fired up. Cross your fingers for me that they will get back to me soon.

Well its nearly 1:00 am and I am about to pick up the sequel to last nights book, lets see how far I get tonight. ;)

Eh? What's that you say?

I just spent 4 excrutiating hours with two little boys that could put Mariah to shame. There was an OSU game and My sister her husband and their 4 kids and my other niece showed up with my sister's classmate and her boyfriend and their son. I do not think a single one of the bunch has a clue what an average NON-eardrum shattering octave sounds like. And the two boys running around screaming like micro Mariah's. Ouch to the ears. Of course whenever there was a big play it was accompanied by whooping and whistling. Then the three teenage girls had me shuffling through my gigantic CD collection making lists for mix CD's and playing ten seconds of songs they weren't sure if they wanted for two hours straight. Needless to say I am desperate for my happy ( translate: QUIET ) place.

But on a positive note it remided me of some of the great music I have that I have not listened to in a coons age. Music that I love and now I think I will spend my sunday curled up in front of my computer working on my book with my stereo next to me listening to music. Good music is a powerful muse and that I am in dire need of at the moment.

No word yet from the attorney, hopefully soon though.

Clouds have lifted and finally some truth.

I got some new information today about why I was fired. It was very interesting. A detective came by and questioned me. When he left he indicated that he felt that my ex-employer had wasted his time. And after all the questions he asked me, he acknowledged that all of this would have been avoidable if only the idiots would have taken five minutes to ask me a simple question.

Needless to say I am going to sue the agency for wrongful termination and slander. My sister has an even greater case as what I was accused of has absolutely nothing to do with her. It will prove to be interesting that's for sure and you all will be the first to hear the juicy details.

Till then, sleep well, party hard,or whatever your vice, just enjoy.

What I am like...

Found this here thought I would give it a go. You are supposed to find your birth month and cross out what does not pertain to you, So this is mine:

MARCH:
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

Hmmmm....I think maybe I am weird. ;)

Wish me luck

I applied for a job today. I really want it. Its just a mile or so away from my house at our local college. And it is perfect for my skill set. So wish me luck K? Oh come on Perdy please?

Not much going on around here. I had another baby hamster be born and it's gramma, shithead, die. Poor thing she was one of my favorites because she was so tiny. B wants to name the new baby, and I usually let her name all of them but last time she named twin girls Rufus and Carl, so I told her I would think about it.

I think I have decided on going back to work over going to school. I just don't see how I would make it on financial aid alone. Plus I don't want anything else I would have to pay back. Paying things back sucks, and it makes you poor. No fun.

Well I better get to bed I have to take a friend to the DR. at the ass crack of dawn. But I am not used to going to bed this early so I guess I will break out the Nyquil and try to induce sleep, I know I know I am SUCH a druggie! ;) Ta~

what are they thinking?

Ok I admit it, I grew up watching the Dukes of Hazzard I had a huge crush on Bo and Luke Duke I wanted to drive the General Lee and I thought Daisy must have had a gawd awful wedgie in them shorts. But Tom Wopat and John Schnieder were Luke and Bo. And Catherine Bach was Daisy and those are some heavy cowboy boots and hot pants to fill.

So when I found out they were remaking the show into a feature film at I thought cool, it will be all nostalgic and what not. But then I found out who was cast.

So there are two versions being made: a TV version and a big screen version. And the casts are atrocious. For the Film version they are casting a Jackass and Stifler, Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott. Those two I can buy though Knoxville isn't known for playing clever guys like Luke was OK I will still buy it. But their choice for Daisy is Jessica Simpson, I don't know if she can simultaniously wear pumps drive a jeep and flirt without tripping over herself. And I certainly don't see her holding her own in a bar fight like Daisy is so known to do.

But that is nothing compared with the TV version. This time they cast Ashton Kutcher and Paul Walker. Now Paul Walker is way believable. Kutcher, not so much. and their Daisy, well for her they are talking about Britney Spears! EEWWW She is no Daisy Duke, besides they would have to write in a dance sequence or something and that would just ruin it.

It makes you wonder who the heck these casting Directors are. Anyway again I apologize for the ridiculous things I choose to rant about. I am just a big ol' dork and I ain't afraid to admit it!

I love to be home

I like curling up on my bed and browsing blogs and reading a good book and listening to good music. I am contemplating the possibility of staying here always. I love to be home. Especially since it is cold outside.

I think I am desperate for Fall. The idea of it just tastes good to my soul. All the leaves and the crisp air that makes your lungs feel so clean. Curling up in blankets and layering on the fleece and wool. Hot baths and cinnamon apple candles. Holidays. Snowpicnics on the hill. While the kids sled and play the adults drink warm drinks around the fire and reminisce and take a ride or two down the sled run themselves. Curling up on the couch in front of the fire watching movies all day. HOT CHOCOLATE. Driving on ice and watching the idiots who don't know how to drive on ice. Playing in the yard with the kids and letting them get all muddy even if I am not supposed to. ;)

This is the begining of my favorite time of year, and though I know that this is just a taste of it and Summer has at least one more good hot spell left in her, I know it's almost here. And I feel like after a slothish Summer I am finally coming back to life.

Also Sissy has had an eventful day, she had so much to say. You should drop by and see what she did. ;)

Words...

This is what I felt like posting today, in an effort to understand myself I took a little stroll...

sought


i tumbled into quiet
he tried to drive me mad
i danced up close to silence
she seared me with her brand
i offered forth my emptiness
to be filled with love and need
it was returned quickly
overflowing with broken dreams

i stumbled on

i happened upon circumstance
she was too busy to be seen
i tripped over a bit of passion
and he caused my soul to bleed
i handed over my loneliness
to be exchanged for a little pride
it was merely given back
with a basket-full of lies

i stumbled on

i ran into a wall of bitterness
he knocked me to the ground
i grabbed a hold of vengeance
she threw me right back down
i begged them to trade my confusion
for an ounce of honesty
both claimed my distortion
but gave back only greed

i stumbled on

i caught a glimpse of solace
he was too quick to catch
i wandered up to surrender
she offered me her hand
she promised me security
if i compromised my needs
i whispered back
I'm sorry but my beliefs help me to breathe

i stumbled on

i encountered rejection
he was conspiring with regret
both seemed to seek me
feeding on neglect
thats when faith sauntered up
and introduced me to respect
who gently gave the gift i sought
in the blissful form of rest

i arrived

(C) jessica mitchell
020302

List Time Boys and Girls!

Ok I saw this on a couple pages and decided it was list time again! Since there isn't anything else here to entertain me.

Got this one from Bret's Blog

What's on your bedside table?
Lamp, Clock Coaster and drinking glass, Nail clippers, mirror, cell phone and nail polish remover, and several bottles of polish


What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
oh goodness I am a geek so probably my whole collection but I suppose I would have to say....teen riot, don't laugh I like that song toy soldiers :P


What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
Cups of Ice, weird I know


Do you have a completely irrational fear?
my family would say not knowing what everyone else is doing...but that is not irrational ;) so I will say yes I have a weird fear of losing my sight.


What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
I get all red when I am nervous.


Do you ever have to beg?
what am I begging for?


Are you a pyromaniac?
One of my favorite scents is burnt matches, but no I don't think so.


Do you have too many love interests?
no


Do you know anyone famous?
no


Describe your bed.
no headboard, just a plain frame, celestial bed set, sobakowa pillows,and a fluffy cat always present.


Spontaneous or plan?
both I think


Who should play you in a movie about your life?
yeah right a movie about me


Do you know how to play poker?
yes


What do you carry with you at all times?
my keys, my wallet, my cell phone


How do you drive?
well, a hell of a lot better than I used to, having a nicer car tends to help keep me in check.


What do you miss most about being little?
sitting in my dad's lap watchin Christmas movies on Christmas eve


Are you happy with your given name?
yes


How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
a shit load, and by that I mean at least a good million or more.


What color is your bedroom?
midnight blue and goldish


What was the last song you were listening to?
You had me by Joss Stone


Have you ever been in a play?
no


Who are your best friends?
M, K, BB, my sisters and My Mommy


Have you ever been in love?
I think so


Do you talk a lot?
YES


Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Sometimes I think I do, other Times I wanna kick my own ass


Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
yes



Do you think you're cute?
no


Do poor or homeless people sometimes annoy you?
Only my old clients who thought that b/c I gave them services it meant that I wanted to be their best friend


Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
I am a nice person, but I can be a real twit too.


Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend or your friends?
none of the above


What is your ideal marriage location?
I would love to get married in the Scottish Highlands


Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I am learning to play the acoustic guitar


Favorite fabric?
chenille


What kind of bedding do you use?
cotton


What kind of soap do you use?
suave oatmeal



What's the one language you want to learn?
Gaelic


How do you eat an apple?
I bite it and chew


Have you ever pierced your body parts?
yeah my earlobes


Do you have tattoos?
yes


Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
if I had had it yeah why not


What's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done?
My ass is hamburger that's all I'll say


Do you drive stick?
yes


What's one trait you hate in a person?
hypocrisy


What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
none I use my cell to know the time


Most frivolous purchase?
Probably the hundreds of DVD's and CD's I own. I am actually a private DVD library for my friends and family.


Do you consider yourself materialistic?
I like material things but I am not that bad.


What do you cook the best?
avocado, creamcheese turkey quesedillas


Favorite writing instrument?
My finger tips ;) j/k a medium point blue ink pen.


Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
neither or both oh I don't know it depends on my mood and who I might be trying to impress


What's one car you will never buy?
A Ford


What kind of books do you like to read?
Tamora Pierce is my Favorite Author and Orson Scott Card (enders game and the lost boys)


If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Pay everything off for me my sister families and my parents, then buy myself a house and spend the rest of my life writing, and being with my family. Oh and a plane ticket to NY to visit Groove. ;)


Burial or cremation?
creamation I want my ashes spread on the wind


How many online journals do you read regularly?
about 15


What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
happiness


If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
I turn on Bitch mode


Do you cry in front of friends?
yeah they are the ones who are supposed to know you inside and out aren't they.


What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
loud and obnoxious


What's one thing you like to do alone?
write and read


When's the last time you cried?
yesterday


Favorite communication method?
words


What's the most painful experience you've ever had?
so far I have been lucky and I would have to say any pain I have suffered has come from unknowing


Can you type with your eyes closed?
yeah but really slowly


Can you ski?
I don't know I never have tried


Can you speak in sign language?
I know how to say f*ck you


Can you do the butterfly stroke?
yes


Can you say the alphabet backwards effortlessly?
not so much


Can you run a mile in under ten minutes?
doubtful


Can you stand the sight of blood?
only if it's my own


Can you read palms or tarot cards?
Tarot


Can you admit it when you're wrong?
yes


Can you ask for help when you need it?
yup


Can you tie a necktie?
no


Can you successfully pierce someone's ear?
yes I pierced my own, I just shoved the earring right through


Can you play soccer?
I was a power kicker on my highschool PE team


Can you sing?
of course I can, now if I am good at it well that's another question entirely.


Can you name three kinds of clouds?
stormy, foggy, and puffy


Can you make a joke out of anything?
yup


Can you perform CPR on another human?
I could try but I can't guarantee I would save them or not injure them further


Can you read minds?
depends on the mind


Can you write better poetry than Shakespeare?
depends on who you ask, some people hate Shakespeare


Can you speak more than one language?
I can speak bullsh*t, how 'bout you?


Do you know karate?
no


Can you freestyle?
no

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

50 Things...

1. Your name spelled backwards.
acissej

2. Where were your parents born?
Grants Pass, Oregon

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
that song detachable penis by King missile, so my Sissy could hear it.

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
Kitchen O'My Daddy

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
It's been a couple years, I am a lake girl

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
never had a school play unless you count the freshman talent show and I played a DR. in a reenactment of the Tim McGraw song don't take the girl

7. How many kids do you want?
yeah someday

8. Type of music you dislike most?
hard-core rap

9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes

10. Do you have cable?
Dish Network

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
No

12. Ever prank call anybody?
Every now and again

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
No, not a parking ticket

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
hell yeah

15. Farthest place you ever traveled.
oh God I am pathetic Probably Vancouver Washington

16. Do you have a garden?
no but I want to start an herb garden

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
A Rose is a Rose

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
I would be a piss poor citizen if I didn't

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the AM bath in the PM, that is the perfect place for reading on a cold day.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Cellular was pretty good even though I didn't think it would be

21. Favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni and a ton of cheese

22. Chips or popcorn?
both I like salty stuff

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
I wear pinks deep reds and coralish bronzes

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Uh no but BB tried to smoke hot dog skins once

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No

26. Orange Juice or apple?
mostly orange but now and again I crave apple cider

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
My parents at the mom and pop shop here in Grove, the koffee kup.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Symphony bar

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
nevah I vote by mail in ballot

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
A couple days ago

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
no but I have won ribbons and prizes

32. Are you a good cook?
for my tastes yes, but not for everyone else's

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
yes I do even though I live in OR I used to have access to my dad's commercial card

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
infomercial no shopping channels yes

35. Sprite or 7-up?
original 7-up

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
no

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
I picked up my parents prescriptions for them

38. Ever throw up in public?
nope

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
give me the money true love will still happen if it is meant to

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I have never seen it but that's not to say it doesn't exist, I have seen infatuation at first sight

41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
No

42. Can exes be friends?
depends on the ex

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
My mom

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
average i guess and blonde

45. What message is on your voicemail?
I am out getting munchies with my new americanstyle boyfriend ( i love the donger)

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
I am a MAD TV girl and I like Stuart the hell child and Ms Swan

47. What was the name of your first pet?
two cats named Dazed and Confused

48. What is in your purse?
Not enough moolah and always a pen and notepad

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Pee

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
I didn't implode, cuz well that would be messy.

Well I bet that was fun for you. At least these ones had some more creative questions. Kitty Kisses till next time my lovlies.

I am so proud!

My Niece just cheered in her first football game. I am not proud that she is a cheerleader, though yes that is good too, I am most proud that her shy kinda chicken self went through with it and didn't run and hide. She is REALLY shy! And she was very nervous about getting thrown around in the air. But she did it! I am such a proud auntie. I love my nieces and nephews. And she is really turning into an accomplished young lady. She used to kind of slack off at school and now she is pulling in solid grades, she has really been sticking with this cheerleading endeavor and has even done really well with my driving lessons with her. (shhh don't tell she isn't really old enough for that yet but I am giving her a headstart since it's a stick shift and all)

*beams a little more*

Her younger sister is also a pretty kick ass soccer player, who apparently beats her opponents to shreds. And her little brother is a first class hellion. ;)But I love him he is and always will be my BubbyBoy, my Birthday present (he was born on my B-day) and the one who liked me best when I was taking care of them while their mom worked (he could wrap me around his finger)

My other sisters oldest daughter is the biggest cuddlebug known to man, her younger sister can throw a one liner perdy darn well, her youngest sister is a walking talking fish (don't ask) and their baby brother is a real scene stealer.

They are all great kids. It makes me feel old that some of them are already turning into great young adults!

It's finally cooling off outside, it has been pretty muggy so now I feel like I can breathe again.

I never heard back from the Prez. of the BOD today. I guess that means I will be making a phone call tomorrow huh? TTFN ;)

and the drama continues

I am so pissed off. I just finished typing this long ass entry and my computer spazzes and I lost it! Damnit!

Any way lets see if I can try it again-

So I found out today that my unemployment was being contested by evil ex-bosslady. So insted of going to the agency and throttling her which was my first instinct, I called her "boss" the President of the Board of Directors. He wasn't in so I left a voicemail.

To my surprise he called back an hour later. After our discussion and a two page letter I sent last week I think a good size seed of doubt is germinating in his head. I am so certain she has screwed us ( me and Sissy ) and did something herself.

Anyway he promised to call me back tomarrow and I will hopefully find out more than, but as usually I won't count my chickens quite yet.

I am hell bent to get this crap straightened out. They sh*t in their own messkit when they got rid of us for no reason and then had the nerve to try and deny us unemployment urrrrg!!!!

OK so obviously I find it hard to think about much else right now so I appologize if I am boring.

sleepy

I am tired. So much going on, most of which I don't think is very interesting. I can't decide where I want to be right now but no matter what my "choice" is, it isn't were I am now. Why is it that I always have to prove Murphy's Law right? Murphy was a bastard. Anyway it's late so I will delve deeper tomarrow, that is if my computer allows it, she has been a fickle bitch lately and likes to kick me off whenever she pleases. Maybe I need to dump a bunch of mp3's and give her some room to breath. Yeah maybe that's it.

Gmail Invites

So now I have invites to hand out. Any takers? Lemme know if anyone wants one.

I didn't drop $7.50 to see commercials damnit!

I took 3 of my nieces to see Resident Evil: Apocalypse tonight. It was an OK wannabe horror movie that just didn't have a chance to get scary. There were a couple of hilarious lines from one character though.

It pisses me off though that I have to sit through 15 minutes of coke and lifetime movie network commercials before I even get to the movie trailers. What happened to going to the movies meant you could avoid the annoying commercials that don't really convince you to buy the products because they insinuate that you are stupid anyway. Yeah seeing Kate Beckinsale stroll around in a bikini is gonna make me want to buy a diet coke. Sorry no that stuff tastes like shit and I will never look like her no matter what I drink anyway.

Urrg. Don't you love things I find to Bitch about?

Here is the New Template

OK so here it is. There all still a few kinks to hammer out. I am trying to get the posts to not need a horizontal scrollbar, but it is fighting with me. Anyway feedback would be great. I took things I liked from several different templates and morphed them into one that worked for me. Nw my eyes hurt so I am giving up for a while.

I don't know

Sad things happen all the time but they never stop to explain themselves. That bothers me. I want an explanation. I deserve one. Life shouldn't have the right to smack you upside the head without so much as whispering a sweet nothing in your ear. Happy things always happen with clear and specific reasons attached to them. I wish it were the other way around, I would rather be blindly happy than blindly suffer. But I don't make the rules do I? I just meander through every day by believing that someday I will be able to at least affect my own fate, even if I am only deluding myself. Which I do often. Hmmph. Case in point, Lifes A Bitch. Though I sometimes think it is more of a heartless vindictive bitch.

Don't ask what prompted that because I don't know. It just came out, and now it's there and out of me and I feel better for it.

I have a headache. Someone hit me, they must've, headaches don't feel like your head will implode. Well OK they do, but I would rather think someone beat me up than believe my own body is revolting against me.

Anyway I am still working on the template. I couldn't find one that I was particularly drawn to, so I am coding one myself, so that will take me another day or so to finish. Wish me luck. It is the first template I have done this way. Ta.

New Template Hunting

So I am hunting for a new template that better suits my personality, I think I have the one I want but it needs tweaking. So I will just tell you that Sissy has told the eyeglasses in the dishwasher story. So you can go laugh at me there if you want too. (for the record I never claimed to be anything more than a jackass ;)

So if you come back and it looks different you are still at the right place.

Ouch...Brainfreeze....warning long entry

Whew Brainfreeze hurts my mellon! Do NOT Drink down a large Rootbeer Freeze from DQ in 5 minutes! No matter how muggy it is. I wish someone would have told me. I fear my brain may never recover.

So I am reading my Blogroll and come across Miss Macy's entry and felt I should share my sober driver story.

So we have a party spot in my sleepy little town (yes we are a bunch of hicks) called Raizer Rd. Besides house party's and a couple other little outdoor venues it's pretty much all there is in Grove. We have a couple little bars but you have to be of age and well...at the time we weren't. This was at least 6 years ago. and I think we were 19-20.

We are: Me, My best friend M, My ex-friend C, my crush at the time (and now more like a brother) B, My older sister E (no not Sissy she wouldn't have been seen with our rag tag team of dweebs. ;) and two other girls that were obviously not too memorable.

So who was the designated driver? Well that would have been E, my older sister whom was the only legal drinker amongst us. How is that for irony?

So the party is at a gravel yard 3-4 miles up this windy dirt rd. We are driving my little Suzuki Swift, which is essentially a Geo Metro. It was a hatchback and the"trunk" was just big enough for my big cooler, which of course was filled with nameless wonders meant to drown our young braincells.

When we arrived the party was already in full swing. Bonfire burnin in the center of a bunch of grimey pickups and cars and someones soundsystem thumping away so loud you couldn't understand what song it was or even what type of music it was. My cousin MM was there being an ass and driving his little honda civic (which he had named HonDoggy) up the 30 ft gravel piles to show off. Poor car. It went to the junkyard shortly thereafter. He was already several rounds into a bottle of whiskey. When he saw me pull out my 5th of BV he promptly snatched it from my hand and started to swig. After his long deep drink he passed it back to me and thanked me, said he needed that. I smiled said sure and watched him walk off. Not wanting to point out to him that he had never removed the cap. It would ruin his moment.

So after I "shared" I decided to down some myself. Half of the 5th in 15 minutes straight with a pepsi chaser. Then I shared a pint of Seagrams 7 with M with Hawaiian Punch chasers. (nice combination to quicken the drunken process). (but it does hasten the peeing process as well, I won't tell that part of the story though ;)

An hour later and the rest of the fifth behind me found me and M running up the gravel piles and butt surfing down them. I was wearing shorts. This proved to have an uncomplimentary effect on my rear. For some gawd awful reason I felt the need to walk up to thee most popular guy in our town whom I had spoken to exactly never and told him "My ass is hamburger!" and walked away before he could say anything back.

He had been talking with E and after I left she said he turned to her and asked if she really wanted to claim her family. She said she didn't but if only he saw her antics in the bathroom after she drinks, he would ask me that question, not her. (I promise to tell those stories sometime real soon)

Yup I was shnuuked. I think I even had a contact high from all the pot smoking going on around the fire. a couple hours later found E proping B and I together to keep each other standing while she went to find everyone else. This lasted for about two breaths before we both fell over and put a lovely dent in my car.

So we all stuff into my tiny car to go home to my tiny apartment. The two no names in the back seat with B and me and E in the front seats and M in the middle being butt raped by the e-brake. But the trip home we added a passenger. Some kid who my cousin had beat up for daring to talk to us. (I can't blame him his parents smoked too much pot and his brain cells were gone before he was born) Anyway we throw the poor kid on top of the now empty cooler and he curls up in the fetal position and passes out.

The trip home was interesting to say the least. Besides the trip up the road there is a 20 minute drive back into town from the lake which is were the road is located. So at the base of the hill I start to hear this wretching sound and suddenly B has his arms around my headrest and is hauling himself up against the back of my seat. Yup the passed out kid is puking all over my back seat. Gross. But I was in a good mood and laughed it off. Not considering that I had to clean it up tomarrow.

About halfway to town M and B decide that they need to puke. OK we pull over. The jackasses get out and sit crosslegged in the middle of the street facing each other and spend 15 minutes dry heaving, but not puking. Again gross.

Finally we get home and munchies ensue, E leaves to go take puking kid to the hospitol, turns out he had alcohal poisening ontop of being beat up. Poor guy. We all crash.

Next day I am the only one NOT hungover. I had made an ass of myself the night before but at least I had not insisted someone put my glasses in the dishwasher. (thats a whole other story). I did however have a sore ass and for some reason blades of grass stuck all over me. That I cannot explain because there was no grass at the party, just butt tenderising gravel.

Boy that story is a hell of a lot funnier when I tell it out loud and in the presence of those who were there. But hey it was fun.

I just noticed I say So... a lot in this entry. Which makes it sound kinda dumb in my opinion, but hey...So what. ;)

**************************************************************************
*Jessicaism of the day (I couldn't call it J-ism cuz that is basicaly jizzem and hey I ain't goin there OK!) :
I always feel better when my finger and toe nails are perfectly painted a gaudy color. It gives more impact when I flip people off! ;)

here I am in other words...

gutter flower

i didn’t need to see the gutter
to understand its depths
i checked it out anyway
that’s all there was to do
look me over
there’s not much to see
a bored girl in a still world
wanting to change her point of view
a girl who asked herself
how much can it hurt
to taste a bit of grime
how much can she break
to feel a little bit misplaced
to fall a little out of time
but i can’t say i know the truth
it eludes my jumbled mind
i couldn’t have guessed
when i sauntered into the gutter
all the beauty i would find
what has risen back from the dirt
is a clear enough integrity
to color the skies of the blind
i’d rather claw my way back
from those depths
then to fall from above
and never have had to try
to never know the value of a smile
because i never had to cry
if i had to choose
between the hope of naiveté
and the sadness of the moon
in it’s final hours
i’d blossom beside my kindred souls
born from grit, i’d choose not to be a rose
but to be a gutter flower

jessica mitchell 081103


***The rhyme is a tad off, but my best stuff doesn't rhyme at all. and this is far from my best stuff. it just seems the most immediately appropriate.***

Pessimism and Procrastination

I don't know what I want. Anymore it seems I am the nastiest of pessimists. But only when it comes to me. My hope hasn't died for the rest of the world, it just seems like I can't fill my own cup more than halfway. I am just lost. Floating out somewhere I have never been before. Net-less and with no strings.

I have read my horoscopes and read my cards, funny thing is, that as little stock as I really put in them, they both said exactly the same thing: "The answer is at your fingertips." But the only thing at my fingertips is my laptop's keyboard. The only thing I can draw from that is to write. Which is my first love in life. But writing to survive takes time. Bills must be paid in the interim. Huge car payments and insurance alone would eat up any unemployment I get.

Fate is a worthless wench who should get her ass kicked sometime really soon. And I want to be there when it happens, I want to kick her when she's down, just like she did me.

Who am I kidding though. Everything in my life has always eventually turned out okay. I have a great family that looks out for eachother and I always manage somehow. So what am I bitchen about?

I still haven't written that paper for my class. I am not just procrastinating, I can't seem to find my muse. I think she ran away when fate started throwing her temper tantrum. Lousy bitches, one you want to stay away and she sucker punches you and the other runs and hides when you need to use her as a shield. Urrg!

I don't know what the hell I want, I think I just want someone to decide for me. That would be easy enough, revert to being a little girl and let everyone else make my decisions. So there it is my handy solution. hmmph yeah right. As soon as someone would make one I would know exactly what I don't want to do. I am just too fickle.

I am craving movie popcorn with lots of butter and manicotti. Whaddya suppose that means?

The Soundtrack to Your Life

Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:

Opening song: Meant To Live By Switchfoot

Waking up: Headstrong By Trapt

First date: Push by matchbox 20

First kiss: Smooth by Santana and Rob Thomas

Falling in love: Love Comes Walking in by Van Halen

Seeing an old love: don't you forget about me by Simple Minds

Heartbreak: Broken By Seether and Amy Lee

Driving fast: dragula by Rob Zombie

Getting ready to go out: Manhunt

Partying with friends: Tush by ZZ Top

Dancing at a club: God is a DJ by Pink

Flirting: Cherry Lips by Garbage

Feeling sexy: Hey Pretty by Poe

Walking alone in the rain: Deliver Me By Sarah Brightman

Missing someone: Even Angels Fall by Jessica Riddle

Playing in the ocean: I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet by Mandy Moore

Summer vacation: Open Road Song By Eve 6

Fighting with someone: Sux to be you by Prozzak

Acting goofy with friends: Kung Fu Fighting

Thinking back: Hold On Loosely by 38 Special

Feeling depressed: close my eyes forever by Lita Ford and Ozzy

Christmas time: Sliegh Ride

Falling asleep: Dream a Little Dream

Closing song: Amazing Grace

***I love music and have a huge CD collection (I will publish a list sometime) I listen to almost everything. I grew up groovin to my dad's kick ass LP collection and love anything from the 50's to today. I will add songs to my soundtrack constantly.***

OK so I have a pair

OK I have a pair of cheap ugly Birkenstocks. (Groove and Tiffanie) Thing is. I have BIG feet, I can hardly find ANY woman's shoes that fit me and when I do find them I have to special order them and they cost $100+. I also live to be barefoot, and cannot stand to drive with shoes on. So I buy the cheap ugly (did I mention FAKE) Birkenstocks to keep in my car as slip ons when I have to run in the store or whatever. I also use them for camping so I don't ruin my nice expensive shoes. But I know that all of that doesn't save me from being a hapless dork.

I promise If I am ever in NYC I will leave them home. In a perfect world I would never have to wear shoes. Everyone teases me b/c I even go barefoot in the snow. Just to check the mail or get the paper, I am not asking to get sick, I just love to be shoeless. Anyway what do you expect a fashion reject like me to wear? I am open to suggestions.

Kick ass! I just saw a commercial and I get to see Hawaii afterall, they are re-running it tonight so I can program the DVD player. hee hee like I said total dork, but they are lovely boys, so lovely. I want to have Eric Balfour's babies.

Anyway life stuff...I am going to do the school thing, I am just not sure what, I enjoy too many things. Creative Computing, Writing, Design, and then there is Business. I would love to run a business of my own.
It's been said that Sissy and I should go into business together. What that business would be is beyond me, but I am sure it would be called Beeotch and Sis inc.

I have a friend who is going through some rough stuff and low and behold Messenger bites it and quits working for me. I am supremely irritated.

OK thats all for now, I don't know how to think on Fridays.

Think they had fun? 

Found this at http://www.cyborgname.com 

You're Element is Night. You're a loner who is very
creative but never show your work to anyone.
You may smile a little but sadness or
loneliness surround you and other can feel it
when they're near you. You have a dark or
unusual beauty that makes you mysterious and
you probably have a lot of secrets that you've
never told anyone. You're beauty is intriging
and unorthidox but the real thing that makes
you special is your eyes. Something in them
makes them like Diamonds in the Rough.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla 

What does my future hold?

What will Jessica do now that she is unemployed?
	Sit on her ass and draw unemployment.
	Look for a new job.
	Go to the old office and Bitch-slap ex-bosslady.
	Sue the bastards!
	Rot away in depression.
	Drive Sissy insane with incessent phone calls.
	Go to school full time.
	Become a hair dresser.
	Plan a camando style t.p. party at old office.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Damn Pre-emting (SP?)

Son of a @#%&*! I am getting supa piahssed! I keep getting my shows pushed back and/or just not aired. I had to wait a whole hour last night to watch Big Brother 5 and Amazing Race. Then tonight I was looking forward to the new show Hawaii (gadzooks all the eye-candy) and sure as sh*t nope it's not there! I was looking forward to all those lovely boys! Urrg!

Don't Fu*k with my T.V. Damnit!

Holy Shpinoly that sounded sad.

I think my plan is solid

So I have a plan. I am going to spend the rest of this week doing only what I want to do. I deserve that. This was supposed to be my vacation after all.

I am going to organize my room Cleen Sweep style. Go through everything and have a garage sale and use the money I make to fix it up all snazzay like.

I am going to finish reading my book. It's a goodie "treasure box" by Orson Scott Card.

I am going to give Mrs. Kitty a bath.

I am going to get out all of my poems and read through every single one of them.

I am going to draw.

I am going to Paint.

I am going to bead myself and Mom and sis 1 & 2 and all the nieces a necklace and bracelet set.

I am going to scan old pictures and send them out to old friends.

I am going to write at least two Chapters of Broken Blade.

I am going to walk at least 5 miles a day on the treadmill even if it is too hot.

I am going to write my Gramma a letter.

I am going to take the camera out and take a ton of pictures.

I am going to color a picture in my old smurf coloring book.

I am going to put on wild make-up and go to the supermarket in my pajamas.

I am going to hook up the old Atari and play Frogger

I am going to paint Mrs. Kitty's nails

and I am going to go to the school and play on the swingset.

I think that covers it. I think though that maybe I would need 3 weeks for all of that. I also thought about taking the kids out for a photo scavenger hunt...but that means letting them fight over my camera....hmmmm maybe....or no.

After I am sated with the fun and goofy things I want to do, I will buckle down and do the things I have to do:

Write a ten page piece for school

Get a lawyer for wrongful termination suit

get a new job....you know nothing too awfully important.

Ok so I decided to post this b/c it is how I am feeling today:


where i haven’t been

solace isn’t easy
it serves the afraid
it’s safe
lonely
solace is a home for broken souls
who don’t have the courage to heal
i haven’t seen solace
only caught a taste of it’s fading presence
drifting off the ruin in its wake
solace comes from giving in
settling for something less
than everything
it’s a fear of failure
solace is a place of placid beauty
nothing stirs the currents beneath its glassy surface
it reflects an illusion
a façade to the eyes
it’s a lie
hiding away
putting unrest to sleep
waking nothing in it’s absence
i haven’t seen those shores
i haven’t sampled that sky
i haven’t succumbed to ease
nor have i fought for what i seek
a storm waiting to break

(c) jessicamitchell 070903

*I for got to add balance my checkbook to that NEED to do list. Ack! I am SKEEEEEREEED!