Wednesday, January 12, 2005

update and thoughts

Well Dana is out of surgery and is improving. She will hopefully be able to come home tomarrow. My sister wanted me to thank everyone for their kind thoughts, so thank you all.

With that said, I thought I would post my journal entry from this morning, because it feels appropriate:

where yesterday sits in my belly i ache a little. i am not sure why or where the hurt grew from but I hold it there and it gives me the illusion of being full. the lie is that it's enough to feed my hungering soul with memories rather than starving it with now. because now is empty and alone and i can't fathom why a smile resides on my lips. it's unfair to crave so much when what i want is so far from my hands. yet that ache still haunts my belly with a desire to remain undone.

I find that I am floating around on a miss mesh of something that I don't know how to describe. From moment to moment I change my mind about what I want to do with myself. And nothing appeals for more than a a little while. Maybe tomarrow I will be in a better mood. Just maybe.

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