HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It is only 5:40 and there are already fireworks going off in the neighborhood. My cat has taken several chunks out of my legs in her attempt to scare them to get away from the loud noises. Of course this is nothing compared to her antics on Independence Day. The 5th of July is usually a day spent bandaging wounds on my ankles. One day I will learn to wear boots or something.

I have always loved New Years Eve, but this year I am just too tired to celebrate too enthusiastically. I am just wiped out. I haven't been getting any sleep because I am getting wicked leg cramps at night and end up pacing the house instead of sleeping. And I have never been the type who could sleep during the day, though I can lounge and doze a little, I am still tired. I would rather curl up and watch some movies than party. Besides it just doesn't seem like it should be the end of the year already. I dunno what I'll do yet, though I do have a couple of posts I have been planning on, so maybe I will type those up. In anycase I will let you know tomarrow or later tonight.

As for everyone else....HAPPY NEW YEAR...Have fun, Stay safe, and tell me all about it tomarrow!

It's friday feast time ladies and gents...

Appetizer

Using only 5 words, describe how 2004 went for you.

An out of control rollercoaster

Soup

Name something you did in 2004 that you'll probably never do again.

Work in Social Services. It is to draining. And not the best profession for anyone who is laden with empathy.

Salad

What did you learn about yourself in 2004?

That I count on things too much. I get my hopes up and suffer disappointment when my plans do not achieve fruition. That and I trust too much in people I do not know yet.

Main Course

What notable news event from 2004 will stand out most in your memory?

The Tsunami is first and formost in my mind, but the election will probably by a prominent occassion in my memory.

Dessert

Name something you purchased in 2004 that you really, really like.

My car, I like my Sonata, though it wouldn't have been my first choice it definately has grown on me. Especially since it goes when I want it to. ;)

Resolutions

New Year new layout. What do you think? I loved this picture I took a while back and decided to use it as my new starting point.This is the street I live on and I think the haze of the early sun makes for a good analogy of the future; you can't see it clearly, you have some sort of an idea of what will come but you can't quite bring it into focus.

I plan to make a lot of changes over the next couple of months, changes for the better, I only hope that this year I am better prepared to stick with my resolutions. I am 25 years old, knocking closely on 26 and I feel like I haven't done a damn thing with myself.

So I WILL finish writing this book
I WILL find a job that I LOVE
I WILL get into better shape
I WILL save some money to pay for the things I want
And I WILL pay off my debts (or at least make a good start)

It seems like a really small list. Lets see how my resolve holds out this year huh.

Where did all the sound go?

It is finally quiet around here again. I hafta say that is nice. I do love having everyone around but I am also one of those people who crave silence...no high pitched giggles from the kids and no bunch of people each talking louder than the other trying to ensure that they are heard. And now New Years is coming and I can honestly say I don't really want to party too hard. My sister is moving into her new place that weekend so our attention will be elsewhere anyway. I do however intend to hold said sister to her word of making me manicotti for new years dinner.

I have so many little tasks I want to do and I just can't motivate myself to get them done. I need to re-enter a ton of addresses and other info into my Palm that will be tedious. I have to go through my books and get the ones I don't intend to use anytime soon ready for storage, or sale, that will also take forever because I have loads of books. I want to get at least 7 bracelets made, that shouldn't take too long but it does give a person a good handcramp to do more than 3 at a sitting. And most importantly I need to re-type those 60 pages of Blade that I lost when the computer went kaput, and then get back to work on it. I especially need to do that before my dad takes back his offer to edit it for me. Oh and I want to work a little more with my guitar. There are a lot of other things too, but I don't even want to think about those.

Tomarrow I am going to look for another gift for my mom that I was unable to get before Christmas because paydays fell all out of whack, hopefully I will be able to locate at least one of the 2004 Holiday Barbie that she said she wanted to start a collection with. If I can't find that I suppose it will be another Snowbaby for her collection. I hate shopping. But I'll get over it. ~Night all!

I got presents!

My 2 sisters and I got a pair of earings each. I got the Saphires, though my birthstone is Aquamarine, they didn't have them, my sisters got theirs though Ruby and Perodite. Aren't they perdyful?

I had a nice Christmas, a little loud, but nice otherwise. Still have a lot of food leftover and alot of deserts since everyone was too full to eat any of them after dinner was done. At least 3 people left the table absolutely miserable!

Looky I got the new Rachael Hale book!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

All the Year Through

The sun rises, as does the moon at dusk,

the days go from short to long and back again

we wake and we sleep and we dream

We begin we advance and we end

we work, we play, and we rest

We seek happiness and good fortune

we feel love and hate and compassion

The season's change, the air goes from crisp to warm to hot.

Holidays are celebrated with loved ones near and far,

be it in the flesh or only in the heart

All the year through.

We age in a world where things are moving so fast that we rarely slow down to enjoy our blessings. We grow in a time when the clocks tick off hours instead of seconds, many of which are spent on the run instead of in the comfort of our homes. We Love at a point in history when we've become accustomed to expressing that love at one season of the year. That saddens me, though I am guilty of it myself. I want everyone to know that I love them, not just now, but All the year through.

The best of the Pictures we Took

All 7 of them in front of the tree

Shea Lynn

Kieylie

Jordan

Raina

He was so happy to find this train decoration

Kevin

B

Dane loves Trains

Raina and Shea

Here are my favorites of that day!

This is one of all 7 of my nieces and nephews in our front yard.

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and I finally got everything done. Everything is wrapped and looking pretty under the tree. All the little things have been done, no more trips to the store, no more tidying up....it's done! Relief and Exhaustion are dripping off of me. I am ready for tomarrow.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope your holiday is wonderful and everything you want it to be. ~much love~

P.S Now I will start posting the pictures!

My ears are Ringing

I just spent two very long days with Lots of kids! Yesterday I had all 7 of my neices and nephews so I could take their Christmas pictures and so I could have them record Christmas Carols. LOUD. very loud. Then today I took 3 of them with me to show my Aunt some stuff on her computer and those three with her two were nearly as bad. I am still working on Cd's for people and will probably still be at it through tomarrow if I keep taking as many breaks as I have been. I think I am gonna end up making 5 per person and with about 10 people who want them, I will be sick of music for a couple days at least!

Tomarrow will be spent finishing up on the wrapping and then making treats: buck-eyes, fudge, and cookie pudding. I think it will be loads of fun. (hear the sarcasm?) Actually it shouldn't be too bad my Gramma is here to give me a hand. We'll see how it goes. I will try to post some of the pictures we took tomarrow.

The song Meme-ory game

K snagged it from JaG

Here's the deal:

Step 1: Put your media player on random.

Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play.

Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.

Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly and give them credit.

NO CHEATING BY GOOGLING!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Where do we go from here? Which is the way that's clear?

2. I won't leave a note for anyone to find. Tomorrow they'll know what I've done here tonight.

3. Long legs and a mini skirt, you know what works and you work it hard.

4. I believed in your confusion, so completely torn, It must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born.

5. I wear my jeans a little tight just to watch the little boys come undone. MrsLile Gretchen Wilson, Here For The Party

6. he never made me feel like I was special he wasn't what I was looking for

7. I saw this girl she could rock my world and I had to adjust my fly. Texas Biscuit Wild Thing - Tone Loc

8. If it's too hot than get your ass up out the kitchen listen carefully I don't give a damn if you don't care for me.

9. Things were copasetic till she caught him; things were cool and collected till she found him erected with another.

10. It was good while it was whatever it was.

11. There's winners and there's losers but that ain't no big deal cause it's the simple man who pays the bill...

12. I remember the look that was in his eyes, stealing kisses from me on the sly, taking time to make time.

13. Beginning to think that I'm wasting time I don't understand the things I do.

14. I been haunted by a whisper a chill comes over me, I am trapped inside this moment; I am not a victim I'm not afraid.

15. I think about your face and how I fall into your eyes.

16. That's right put your pom poms down getting everybody fired up.

17. I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past, resurrect those bridges with the ancient glass.

18. Baby I'm sorry I don't mean to cry, but I never needed you more than I need you tonight.

19. I've got a first class ticket but I am as blue as a boy can be. Texas Biscuit Walking in Memphis - Mark Cohn

20. Animals strike curious poses, they feel the heat that between me and you. JaG Prince, when doves cry

21. Somewhere there's a stolen halo, I used to watch her wear it well

22. Voices are calling from inside my head
I can hear them I can hear them
Vanishing memories of things that were said
They can't try to hurt me now

23. heaven is in the palm of my hands and it's waiting here for you .:A:. Close my eyes forever by Lita Ford


24. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, You must fight just to keep them alive Jenny Survivor - Eye of the Tiger

25. I don't need no one to tell me about heaven I look at my daughter and I believe JaG Live, Heaven

Wiped out!

Sore.....feet.....killing me.....many loooooooonnnnngg hours trudging around TWO different Malls.....annoying Christmas shoppers trying to trudge upon my toes.....I need time to recover!

breathe the clouds

it's painful the way i am stripped of breath
and left longing for something to fill my chest
after just one bright moment of beauty

so fiercely i want to bring it back in
that i inhale the clouds and swoon within
at the taste of such sweet cruelty

still i stand with the sun in my eyes
waiting for my soul to drip from the sky
and to be held again in the arms of the rain

i cannot reach it though, its too far gone
blown away because it didn't belong
and breathless again i await the pain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snapped off this picture yesterday and wanted to put down a few words to go with it.

The REAL tree

 


OK here is the tree THIS year. I finally found some batteries so I could download it. The lighting in the living room isn't the best so you can't see it as well as if you were sitting on our couch, but you get the idea. Whatcha think?

Addictions, cravings, and a big fat feast

I think I am addicted. To the big black comfy chair in our living room. It is huge and fluffy and it heats up and massages too. If I recline in it I am a goner for the rest of the day. Take the chenielle blanket and my cat in it with me and I am afraid I would never get out of it!

I am craving Cinnimon Rolls now thanks to Kris and her posts about making her grandmas rolls. But there is no good place to get them around here without driving all the way up to Eugene, and I am not exactly a whiz in the kitchen so I have to suffer. *pout*

OK feast time:

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Friday Feast

Appetizer

What is something that never fails to grab your attention?

Music and books. If there is a music section in a store that I am in, I hafta check it out, same for bookstores, if I am anywhere near one I am soon to be inside drooling. But more than anything I suppose I am the cat queen, whenever I see cat anything I beg for it. Also Celestial stuff and Tarot decks . Tarot cards have some gorgeous illustrations on them. I have a small Collection of decks I would like to see grow.

Soup

Who was the last person who gave you money, and what was it for?

Um my mother, we were doing Christmas cards together and she wanted me to run downtown and get us each a fountain drink.

Salad

If you were a Smurf, what would your name be?

Probably NEEDY Smurf or Bitchy Smurf according to my family. I'd like to think it would be Creative Smurf, but that is a matter of perspective I suppose.

Main Course

Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

I would have to say yes to a degree. Because I don't know how else my Pisces Profile could be so accurate. And believe it or not a lot of times (not nearly all the time though) my horoscope is relatively close to accurate.

Dessert

Have you seen any snow this year yet? What's the weather like today in your area?

No. Not yet. *sticking out lower lip* But it is cold as all get out and there has been a little in the foothills, so I am hoping it will come soon!

Dreeeeaaaam Dream Dream Dream

Last night I had a really weird dream. My friend K was in it. It made absolutely no sense at all. But it was funny. For some reason K was at my house, She lives in Idaho and I live in Oregon so it wouldn't be common for either of us to be at each others houses. But there we were driving up to my house and getting out. And in my dream I had some interesting pets, which seemed to traumatized her greatly as she spent the rest of my dream running around the house trying to get away from my miniature horse, a little pink rat dog, and a really big bunny rabbit! She was hauling ass and the furries were definitely giving chase. I woke up laughing, just because of all the harmless animals in the world to be chasing someone...It cracked me up! What the hell was that dream supposed to mean? I swear I have the weirdest dreams sometimes! What about you guys?

Winter

Christmas is coming way too fast for me. It feels like Halloween was just a couple weeks ago. I wish this time of year lasted twice as long. I love everything about winter. Especially Winter in Oregon. There is a crispness that just makes everything feel clean and fresh. The cold makes you want to snuggle down with a great big down blanket some hot chocolate, your favorite kitty and a good long book. In the mornings everything just sparkles, from the lawn to the windchimes everything shines with frost and looks like a great big world of diamonds. It gives you a reason to wear your comfy clothes like fleece sweaters and chenille socks, and running all over town in your slippers. Of course when it isn't Winter I go everywhere barefoot. Anyway I guess I just wish winter could stick around a bit longer then it does, we are all always in to much of a rush to ever really enjoy it properly.

Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree...

 


OK so this is our tree, from the year before last year (we didn't have a tree last year due to having new floors put in). It is identical to this years tree. I am posting this picture since I still can't find my batteries. The only difference is that now we have nice beige carpet and curtains. I will still post the other picture when I get it downloaded. Is Christmas really only 10 days away? Oy!&

CDS and more CDS they are everywhere!

SO I got the new computer and all and now have the lovely task of trying to retrieve what I need off of disks. I have gone through at least 50 disks already and have barely put a dent in the stack. Of course that is what comes from being a download queen who is obsessed with music, screensavers, games and programs. What is funny is that all the screensavers, games and programs rarely get used once I download them, they just take up space. So eventually I back them up onto disk and they just sit there, worthless. So most of theses disks are filled with music data files, a shitload of graphics, and a bunch of junk! But I still insist on going through all of them because one might contain even one photo that I took myself, or one piece of writing I backed up. It is taking forever!!!

My original goal was to find as much of my book as I could so I wouldn't have to re-type a whole bunch of it. I have found one version of it that would mean I need to re-type 60 or so pages. Ugg I hate typing things that way, coping things is boring I want to be typing things I have never typed before! Well I am off to tackle the next disk, G~night!

She calls them Trolls

Happy Anniversary to my sister. Her and my brother in law got married on Friday the 13th, 2 years ago. What a day to pick to get married on huh?

I found out I will be an Auntie again today, my friend M just found out she was pregnant with her third baby. That means now I have 2 friends pregnant. One who was on the pill and hadn't planned to get pregnant again for a while (M). And one who has tried several times to get pregnant, even has gotten pregnant more than once and lost the babies, and is now finally carrying her baby beyond the first trimester, and who is desperate for a child now (K). I wish K would have had M's luck as far as ease of becoming pregnant. But more than that I hope she has a problem free pregnancy from now until she delivers her child.

Right now though she is having a problem that is truely pissing me off. She keeps a blog of her own and writes some really detailed accounts of how she feels and what she does. Things about her pregnancy, her marriage, and any troubles she is experiancing. And her reward for writing thought provoking views on her life is some REALLY mean jerk who just thrashes her up oneside and down the other over nearly every post she writes. He gets really nasty. Of course I bitch him out as much as I can but I can't help but wonder how much she can take of his utter bastardness before she quits writing. People like that piss me off. What good does it serve to bring someone down that you don't even know? Why are some people just worthless?

Our Tree Topper

 


For Brechi: This is the Angel we put on top of our tree. She is pretty big; about 12 inches tall. The colors on her dress are the colors of the rest of the decorations. I know I said I would post a picture of the tree trimmed but I never got that far tonight. Hopefully tomarrow, cuz I want to get it done and out of the way so I can just enjoy how pretty they are.

Almost done....

Well today was spent finishing up Christmas cards and got the tree up and covered with lights but the ornaments will have to wait until tomorrow. Yesterday I rode around delivering Christmas cards to the family that live locally. It took four hours out of the day. I didn't feel much like doing it because I didn't and still don't feel spectacular. But my dad was going around so I hitched a ride with him. Of course his idea of fun is driving the back way to everywhere. Nothing like a 20 minute trip turning into an hour long one because instead of driving on the freeway you drive over the mountain. I probably could have fallen asleep except that he was blaring his Trans Siberian Orchestra CD the whole way. I think my ears are still throbbing. Though I must say that they do the best rendition of Carol of the Bells I have ever heard.

The rain is due back starting tomorrow and I can already feel the chill coming on after a couple days of warmth hovering around 50 degrees. I can't wait for it to snow and I think we may see some white before Christmas, at least I hope so. Tomorrow I will post a picture of a fully trimmed tree for your approval. ~Night!

because I am in a weird mood....

Past forgot

i have remembered how to forget what has come before,

the darkness and the light that shaded the space,

the anger and the hope that filled it,

the shattered soul that emerged today begining void of past

and free to become on its own.

lost behind is a frozen place that i was afraid to see,

and a heart that was blind to all but what it wanted to hide.

i have forgotten the wet grass between bare toes

and the lips kissed by rain,

i have tucked away the sorrow as the sun came from behind the clouds

and ruined a fragile moment with its intrusion,

i have closed the door on promises made and broken in the same breath,

on plans failed before they could be made.

i have remembered what it means to be naive,

the ease that comes with not knowing,

how you don't have to hurt over something that never touched you.

i have remembered how to forget,

i just haven't found it within me to act on the memory.

JM (C) 2003

friday feast

Appetizer

Make up a word and give us its definition.

Shuckydarn: Adj. used to describe something unlikely or unbelievable.

Soup

What is currently your favorite song?

Right now I am repeating Holiday Road by Lindsey Buckingham & All I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey. They are two of my favorite Holiday songs.

Salad

What's at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?

See list in previous entry.

Main Course

Name a scent that reminds you of someone special in your life.

Sung whenever I smell that I think of my Mommy. When I was younger and borrowed her clothes they always smelled like Sung.

Dessert

Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn't be, and why?

Oh I hafta think about this one....ummm....Oh Ok the chick who plays Gwen on Passions. She drives me nuts! Of course to be fair so does half of the cast. Oh and the new Billy on Days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still trying to figure out the whole breaking down of an audio file to copy it onto multiple disks, I haven't had any luck. Does anyone know of a web forumn that may help?

This weekend I am hoping to round up all the kids to record them singing Christmas Carols so I can make CD's as gift, but getting them all together really is a feat to be accomplished. Wish me luck on that front, K?

My wishlist

K so here is my Christmas wish list. I am always getting asked what I want for Christmas so I decided to list the things that I really want.

1. a AA Battery charger, for my Camera, I go through tons of batteries using that thing!

2. Buffy Season 7 (I also need season 2,4,5,& 6)

3. This specific DVD recorder to replace the one that would replace the one my dad took apart and was unable to get back together again.

4. The book "A girl and 5 brave horses" though I have never been able to find a copy myself. It is the Autobigraphy of Sonora Webster, the lady the movie "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" was based on.

5. Camcorder

6. Digital pad and pen

7. a Nuetral toned poncho Chenielle preferably

8. Desk Chair

9. Kodak EASYSHARE DX7590 Zoom Digital Camera

10. Skin so Soft body wash I love the smell of this stuff!

11. Rachel Hale anything, well any of her cat stuff, she is an amazing animal photographer!

12. I am also a big Happy Bunny fan and like just about any of that stuff ( I am a big kid I know)

You can also find my Amazon wishlist on the right, I devour books so they are always welcom! ;)

Well that is about it. On another note, is my page Christmasy enough? Gnight!

Twinklies

K here are a couple views of our lights, whaddya think? The rain looks a bit like snow because of the camera flash. Those a great big lit up presents and a little train on the lawn.  

This one is facing the other direction but it doesn't go all the way to the right. 

I don't like Grinches very much

I have been doing Christmas Cards all day. I am still not done. Maybe halfway. Most of the time is spent tracking down addresses. When my Laptop crashed I lost my Palm too. So while doing Christmas Cards I am trying to re-enter all my Palm info as well. I have a huge family and that is a fair daunting task.

I was reading Sheila and she was talking about those people who fail to exude the Christmas Spirit. And I got to thinking that so far I have yet to experiance one of the Grinches this year. And then I thought how fortunate that made me. But then I thought again and realized that the real reason wasn't fortune at all, it was because I haven't done any Christmas Shopping yet. Now I am filled with dread at the prospect of going out to look for gifts because it will ruin my Grinchless season. I wish I could just shop online but all that Shipping and Handling really does add up.

I'm back...no don't run away!

HeeHee I am sitting here at my new computer. I am online again, I was jonesen hard. It just isn't the same using someone else's computer for a couple minutes here and there. I gotta get used to a totally different keyboard now though, but hey it could be way worse I suppose. I just have to keep checking my spelling for extra keystrokes.

I have been sick for the past several days as I mentioned in the post that Blogger somehow deleted on me. A great big ol' miss-mesh of ickies! I had being sick, I become the biggest whiner known to man and I never have the medicine on hand that I think I want to have. If I have a cough I have sinus medicine and vice versa. Then I have suddenly been battling fierce bouts of leg cramps every night. No clue why but they are really intense. I have done the salt tablet thing and the banana before bed thing. I have been taking HOT baths before bed and have been drinking about 30 glasses of water a day, which of course means I am pissin like a racehorse every 20 minutes. TMI I know.

So now I have the new machine I have to go through and install my programs and try and figure out which disks have which documents on them. That will be a bit of a chore. I also have been out taking pictures and will post how pretty our house is all decorated and sparkly!

On another note I have a question maybe someone can answer for me. I am burning my Dad some audio books for Christmas and have hit a snag; they are too long to put on one CD. Does anyone know how to break up a single audio file into several smaller ones? He wants Harry Potter 5 on CD and I managed to download it but I can't figure out how to get it onto more than one CD so he can play them while he is driving. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Well now I am off to go catch up reading everyone's pages! G-night!

friday feast

Appetizer

Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

I had a little stuffed pig I called piggy it was small maybe as tall as a barbie doll and it had a bell in its belly that rung when you shook him. Once he began to fall apart from being played with so much my dad took and put it away in my moms hope chest along with my blankie, He is still there along with my middle sisters odie doll and my oldest sisters pilsbury dough boy doll. He saved our most favorite things for us.

Soup

If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

a home, someplace to make a future in, some simple place to make a hom in.

Salad

Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

I don't have one of those

Main Course

Name something you believe in 100%.

The power of words. Words can turn things on a dime, they can make a friend an enemy and vice versa, They can bring hope or doubt, love or hate, respect or indifference. And for those writing them they give a blessed release of emotion.

Dessert

List 3 things you did this year that you would consider a "good deed."


I cannot do it. I don't live my life that way; counting the good and bad deeds, I just try to do right by the moment and if I make a mistake here or there I figur eI make up for it all in the end.

Yes I am one of THOSE pet owners. I bought her a sweater but it was a bit snug so I doubt she'll be wearing it much. ;) but it is cute, even though she is hating me really bad right now. 

Happy Crazy-Psycho Shopper Day!

Today is the day they come out. Stalking dark parking lots in the pre-dawn hours. Lurking about ready to pounce. Claws bared and ready to fight. Day after Thanksgiving shoppers!

Run! if you can! Be scared! Afraid is in order! hee hee hee.

I didn't go out this year, though I do admit some of the prices are wonderful, it just suxs that you have to get up at 4:30 to be at the stores at 5-6 am. Ugh that is a terrible notion. So instead a stayed home with my dad, gramma and uncle and relaxed, knowing the turmoil I went through last year when I did go. Remembering that any moment I expected to hear

Attention Wal-mart shoppers please take care to avoid the brawls on isles 4, 7, and 12. Also please refrain from stealing items from other peoples carts it is terribly rude, and please accept our apologies for not stocking nearly enough of our advertised sale items, unfortunately we will not be offering rain checks. Next year you might do well to come a little earlier, we tend to sell out by 7 am.

However I did get ALL of my Christmas shopping done in one 5 hour period last year. So there are perks if you are willing to risk the psychotic denizens of the local mall. I don't know about you but I'll take sleeping in, my slippers, and leftover turkey sammiches anyday over the crack of dawn sales. For those of you who went I hope you came home in one piece, you brave brave BRAVE souls! ;)

For this I am Thankful

I am thankful for more than I show proper appreciation for everyday.

I am thankful...

...for every breath I breathe, and how my chest feels when I take in a lungfull of cool crisp air.

...that I never had to choose between my parents because they are still together and still in love more deeply than any other couple I know.

...that I have two older sisters who really were looking out for me while they tormented.

...for the Grandmother who is still in this world with me and whom I know would lay down everything she has and is to see me well.

...for each of my nieces and nephews for the joy (and drama) that they bring into my life everyday.

...that I always have a safe harbor within a family that will hold me up when I am at my lowest.

...that there is no end to the possibilities of words.

...that I have the warmest ball of fluff to purr me to sleep every night.

...for chenille socks.

...for every second that my laptop is functioning correctly.

...that God granted me skills and abilities that make my life full and lead me to opportunities I otherwise would have been without.

Oh and I am thankful for catching that little black mouse (wild field mouse) that has been bedding down with Puff. Though I let it go and it still sneaks into his cage to sleep.

I hope you all had a safe, warm, and filling Thanksgiving, I know I did.

Cleanfest 04 has officially begun

Tis the holidays and it's time to get to cleaning. Gramma's coming to town so the house needs to sparkle! That and it will soon be time to decorate for Christmas so we need to make some room. So I have spent the day clearing the extra room/office of the copier and treadmill and my guitar and book after book of CD's to make room for the airbed. Then scrubbing the bathroom and bleaching all the porcelain. And now I am going through all my clothes, packing up the summer stuff and getting some other items ready for donation. It seems like I never have anything to wear but my room is overflowing with clothing. Going through clothes proves to be a pain in the ass when you have a cat that is fascinated by stacks of clothing. One day she is gonna end up taking a tumble in the dryer, cuz whenever she hears the dryer open up (it has a loud squeak) she makes a mad dash for it and jumps in to all the warm clothes.

I went outside to feed the hamsters again this morning and low and behold there is a little black squeaker in Puff's cage. I am pretty sure it is a mouse and Puff doesn't seem to worse for wear but I am gonna watch it carefully. So my Puff appears to have a girlfriend (or boyfriend I haven't gotten close enough to tell yet) hope he's having fun! ;)

I know I promised the raccoon story but I haven't had a chance to scan the pictures yet, I will try to get that done this evening. Gotta get back to the clothes for now. Ta~

alien rodents

My hamsters live outside in two cages on the back porch. I cover them up with a blanket to keep them warm. This morning I went outside to feed them and when I lifted up the blanket I noticed a foriegn rodent in the upper cage that Puff has to himself. (there are 9 hamsters in the other cage) Anyway I look into a cage which should contain one little siberian hamster that resembles a tiny snowball and I see a little black rodent looking back at me. I am not sure if it was a baby rat or an adult mouse but I scared the shit out of it. It zipped around the cage like a speedfiend. I tried to catch the little buger but it finally slipped through the bars of the cage and I chased it around the porch for a while before it eventually escaped. I probably looked really stupid. When I went back to get a better look at Puff it looked like his ear had been bitten. So I moved their cages higher up and left the blanket off until it got dark outside and have checked on him twice as much as usual.

It all reminds me of the time my sister and I caught a racoon in the back yard to give my dad for his birthday! I'll tell that story tomarrow, and I have pictures to go with it.

lazy weekend

It has been a quiet weekend around here. Friday night I drove up to Eugene to pick up my nieces and we met my mom and went to a movie. We saw SAW , it was an ok movie but there were a couple times I wanted to put Cary Elwes out of his misery. He didn't cry very well. But it was otherwise a decent movie.

After the movie we split up the girls and one rode home with me and the other rode home with my mom. J picked riding with gramma cuz she drives a Z28 Camaro (way cooler than my sonota) and S picked riding with me cuz I let her listen to the music loud and let her pick the CD's and gramma just doesn't like punk music. So we go our seperate directions in the parking lot and poor S is cold so I give her the key and tell her she can run ahead and get in the car. Bad Idea. She gets lost and runs almost all the way out to the rode. I stop next to the car and ask her if she wants to maybe ride home in the car. She runs back giggling the whole way (she kinda has a dweeby little giggle) and says she forgot what my car looked like in the dark. That was entertaining.

Then Saturday was the Civil War game YYYAAAAAAAAYYY Beav's we won! 50-21 victory over the Ducks! That was essentially an all day event. My ears are sore from all the yelling though, my mom and sister can be very very loud.

Today was a day to vegitate. I still can't get the computer fixed, though I have tried and tried. I have gone through pictures and whatnot and found some things I forgot I had. Maybe tomarrow I will get some work done...nighty night.

friday feast & more

Let the feast begin

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Appetizer

What do you think is the perfect age to get married? To have a first child? To retire?


I think 25 is a good age to get married, and a first child would be anywhere from 25-30. As far as retirement, for me I would prefer top work later into life so 1) I could have more money to retire on and 20 so I wouldn't get bored. Like I am right now. ;)

Soup

If you could change occupations tomorrow, what would you want to do for a living?


I would love to own a bookstore. That would be the ideal thing for me, though if I could also own a petstore I would be even happier.

Salad

What does the color green make you think of?


Trees. I do live in Oregon you know. But I am sure the season starting up effected my thoughts. I also live in a tree city USA.

Main Course

What is something that has happened to you over the last year that you didn't expect?


Losing my job. I felt so secure there and when we were let go the rug was snatched out from under me. Things like that make you feel naked and exposed, as if everyone could see it coming but you.

Dessert

How old were you when you had your first kiss?


I was in third grade, how old does that make me? 8 or 9 I guess.

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So I am at the other computer again cuz mine went to shit again. It didn't crash this time it just doesn't want to go online. Very irritating. So now I want to throw it again, cuz, well that would make me feel better. But since I am still paying for the damn thing I will be a good girl and not throw it. Though urge is overpowering! Have a good Friday.

We really are very weird you see.

I am going to start my Christmas cards tonight. I think this is the earliest I have ever done it. I still probably won't get them mailed out in a timely way. I am terrible at that stuff.

I send a piece of writing with my cards each year. Some poem or letter celebrating the senses of awe and wonder that accompany the holidays. This year I haven't even thought of what I will write. But I thought I would post the more goofy one I did last year since I am starting to think that this years will be a sequel to last years. Note that this is dripping with inside jokes that make it funny if you are a part of the family, but probably make it sound all dorkish if you aren't.

Christmas At Our House

Dad's in the kitchen
Brewing up some food
alcohol has done it's part
to lighten up the mood

Mom's in her bedroom
wrapping presents on her bed
I'm snapping pictures
a camera strapped to my head

Lynn is sitting with Bert
whispering in his ear
wondering what's beneath the tree
and if there's a scavenger hunt to fear

Roberts being goofy
he's just a great big kid
he's always been in touch with
the little boy within

Erica's doing someones nails
While her children drive her mad
hollerin and yellin
telling them to go see their dad

Wades watchin TV
no other sounds can be heard
he's watchin Mr. Hankey
That jolly Christmas terd

Baby Danes doing a snazzy jig
with the musical Santa Claus
His mommas trying to figure out
how to make him pause

Rainas so happy
running to and fro
she just wants to show you
her micro pet Coco

Jordans attached to Brittnie
they love each other so
they won't leave each others side
until it's time to go

Kevins running rampant
his feet are just a blur
sometimes I wonder if that monkey
should have been born with fur

Ky's down with the horses
at the end of the road
Shea is tormenting Jordan
She sure knows how to goad

Aunt Evies giggling about something
she brought buckeyes to keep us fed
She knows that if she didn't
Jessica and wade would have her head

Grandmas in the rocking chair
quietly watching all the chaos
wondering if its about time
she decided not to claim us

We each make this time special
even though we may get loud
you haven't had a holiday
till you've had one at our house!

~Merry Christmas~

...oh i'm drivin my life away...

Ok so I am a really nice Aunt. I have been teaching my oldest niece, K, how to drive early on (she is only 14) so she will have lots and lots of practice by the time she gets her permit. First of all I think I should note why I am the one doing this. Well their mom, my Sissy , tried to teach our other sister to drive and after the experience vowed to never EVER try to teach someone to drive again. So I decided I would take the job. So anyway I was dealing with a moping teenager last night so I was trying to bribe her into better spirits by taking her to the school parking lot and letting her pitter around the parking lot a few times.

It takes all of two seconds before her 12 year old little sister, B, starts to grumble that K gets to drive. So I let K have several loops, practice with the blinker and getting a good feel for the clutch, I let her park and reverse, and all of that fun stuff. She doesn't scare me and she doesn't peel out. She seems to be calmly driving about. So out of the blue I tell her to park the car and trade places with B.

The car immediately breaks out into pre-pubescent bursts of giggles. B gets behind the wheel and after a couple minutes of nervous snickering I take her through the steps of taking off. Foot on the brake, clutch in, go from neutral into first, let off the clutch while SLOWLY giving it gas. I make her repeat this back to me. After she repeats it to me I am confident to let her give it a go (while my hand clutches the e-brake). She guns it. Everyone squeals as the car lurches forward. BRAKE, CLUTCH IN! I yell, STOP! She tries to stop and in the process kills the engine. We do this over and over for about as long as I can stand (10 minutes)

Then K wants another turn so I tell her she gets 5 more minutes. She must have been all hyperish after her little sisters turn cuz all of a sudden she is plowing her foot into the accelerator and we are going like a bat out of hell with its ass on fire, straight for a curb, I ended up grabbing the wheel and yelling TURN! As we park she says she didn't hear me say to slow down or to turn, I shake my head in utter consternation. B gets another quick 2 minutes which she did a good job of, but I just couldn't put my heart through anymore.

I drove home with two girls with face breaking smiles on their face and their little brother whining about being soooo hungry. In my mind I was wondering how his stomach could think about food after the rollercoaster ride we had just been through.

Now they want to know when they get to go again! I am so skeered!

getting into the spirit

Since the season is getting started I thought I'd show you my kitties favorite place to be...under the Christmas tree...;) 

So Happy!

I am sitting here at my OWN computer! I am not sure what I finally did to fix my problem, (though I think it may have been all the "PLEASE GOD PLEASE"'s) I tried everything I knew to try and then I left to babysit for my sister and when I got back, voila, it worked! I was near the breaking point were I was ready to throw the damn thing out the window. So now I am back online and ready to get back all of my other programs and files, though this time I will be backing things up every chance I get. But at this point my back up method is emailing things to myself and using the other computer to back up onto floppy's. But first I need to try and recover as much as I can of what I lost.

I went and saw the Grudge and I enjoyed it, though not as much as I had hoped to, but I did like it. the Ring was better but, the grudge was more shocking. Anyhoo, I am beat from thinking so damn hard about fixing this possesed machine so I will save the story about taking the nieces on a driving lesson tonight, for tomarrow, besides I need the time to recover from my life flashing before my eyes. ;) Night!

I am Lost

Life doesn't feel right without my computer. I reinstalled everything and it still does not want to work right. I think it is supremely f*cked up. I am not sure I am gonna be able to fix it. *sniffle* *wimper* *moan* So I am using my moms computer raelly quick to make a post. Hopefully I will be able to get on long enough to catch up on my blogg roll, but it is rather sucky that I can't do it from my own computer.

I had a job interview yesterday. I could have had the job if I wanted it but the lady said I was over qualified in her opinion and the hours sucked almost as much as the pay. So I passed and will keep looking.

Went and saw Friday night Lights and drooled over all the pretty boys, it was a pretty good movie. Right now I am gettting ready to go see the Grudge. I hope it is good. I was a huge Buffy fan and a Horror movie buff so hopefully it will be a good fix.

Back later with more. ~Love ya's J

I want to Break Something!

THANK YOU!

Thank you Veterans! I appreiciate your sacrifices and courage in defense of my country. You are the ones who have made it possible to be free. Yours are the backs on which this country stands, and that is not forgotten.

And Thank you Dad, your sacrifices did not end in Vietnam, you came home and have sacrificed for your family ever since. I love you!

Today I Was Productive

I got my write on. I got a total of six pieces ready for submissions and wrote five pages in the book and am still at it. My toes got cold so I had to take a break to look for my chenille socks. I love it when I just let go and write, I am amazed at how much I accomplish, when I stop thinking and just express without a plan or a direction.

I am afficially past 45,000 words in the book, and am hitting the part of the book I was most anxious to write. I thought I would post the tiniest of snippits here just to give you a taste of my other home.

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The company rode on into dusk, coming onto the sea once again, and weaving amongst the cliffs that broke her waves. She stopped and watched the sun sink slowly, as if being doused by the water. In her moment of reflection she did not hear Raoul come up beside her.

"It's a thing of beauty isn't it?" he asked.

Sabra sighed, not looking up at his question, a faint smile touching the corners of her lips, "The sunset or the water?"

"The sunset, it's beautiful."

"Yes it is, but isn't it interesting that you chose the placid beauty of the setting sun over the fierce beauty of the angry ocean?" she answered still not facing him.

"Why do you think it's angry?" he asked watching her profile in the fading light.

"We are sisters. I understand her rage. She wants to break past these cliffs that cage her, but no matter how hard she crashes against them she can't break free and she just falls back into herself. Her pain is one I know." she told him.

"I think I'd be a fool to ever claim to know your heart. At every turn you surprise me again. I but wonder sometimes if you try to confuse me. I would never have thought to liken you to the sea, but I do see it. You are filled with rage."

She kept her eyes on the water still, but knew he had left her side because she was able to breathe again. She was never sure what he brought with him, but when he was near her the air felt heavier in her lungs. Sometimes so heavy she feared she might suffocate beneath it.

Turning to rejoin her companions she noticed that Raoul hadn't gone far, obviously waiting for her to follow. She obliged knowing that he'd make the entire company stop until she did and she meant to keep no man from a warm bed for the night.

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Ok bear in mind that this is taking place in 1514 and that it is the roughest of drafts, me just zipping through a story I will flesh out later.

OK back I go while the muse is still whispering.

Miss Mesh of Stuffs to Say

Whew, I am not sure how in the heck I am able to look at this screen as I spent four hours today staring at my Aunts computer, rebuilding her corrupted registries, scratch that, trying to rebuild her registries and trying to get her modem to function correctly. I was successful, so now I do not have to go back and try some more. Now I just have to go back for the tutoring, which I tend to enjoy much more. Going to my Aunt's also means I have to drive to Rice Hill and back which is a beautiful drive this time of year. Everything is all orange and red and yellow, the wild Turkeys and the horses and cattle and sheep. Just really pretty.

I applied for another job today, cross your fingers for me, I need the help, I am going insane not working!

I also found out the Unemployment took my side and said that the stooooopid evilllll ex employers are wrong and I get my benefits......So HAHAHAHAHAHA In your face you scangy bastards! I wiinnnnnn Kiss my boooootay. Wait don't kiss my boootaaay you might give me coootie bugs!

OK well I am beat so until tomorrow!

Early Resolutions

K, so I am thinking ahead. Deciding now what my 2005 New Year's Resolutions will be. All the things I want to do to better my life. All the things that have always seemed to elude me in various degrees.

1. As always there is the get into better shape thing. Yup and it is always number one on the list too.

2. Then there is the thing that always graces number two on the list and that is to finish the book. I care not if I ever sell it or make a single cent off of it's completion, I just want to be able to say I did it and I did it well and it didn't suck too much.

3. Get Organized, With all the writing I do and what not my files are just in shambles, Books are scattered about and clothes are strewn, CD's and data disks lying about. It's a tidy type of clutter, but it isn't organized at all.

4. Cut my caffeine addiction by at least half. Half is something I think I might be able to do. Though at my neediest I can't stand to drink coffee.

5. Finish crotcheting the blanket I started for my dad.

6. Get Health insurance. That and somehow find the money to renew my contacts perscription.

7. Save up enough money to get the camera I want.

Those are my goals for 2005. Do I think I will make them? I hope so, but it is silly to make a relolution that you don not honestly think you have a shot at right? So I think I will do them, and if I do not suceed, well then I will always have 2006 to give it another shot, but by then these may not even be what I want for myself, so I won't think that far ahead

Perdy trees

Do you get the impression that I like the trees this time of year?

I couldn't resist posting this picture. I took it yesterday a few blocks from my house. Believe it or not the red tree is a LOT brighter in person, The sun and the angle of the picture sort of wash it out, and the yellow tree stands out more right at dusk but I forgot to go back and snap off another one. I just thought it was to gorgeous not to share with you all. 

dreamin...

I had a dream about my old house last night. It was vivid. The whole dream was anchored in the house, the house that I spent my most formidable years in and the one that we all think about when we reminisce. Throughout the dream there were pieces of my current life. Though sometimes they weren't things you would think would stand out, they were prominent aspects of the dream. No real event or action of significance took place in the dream, just every day odds and ends. It was really bizarre. When I woke up I got to thinking, I have been dreaming about that house a lot lately. Probably at least twice a month. I wonder why all of the sudden I am dreaming about that house. I haven't lived there since I was probably 14 years old. I don't know but I will post a picture of the house tomorrow so you can see what I am talking about. But right now my toes are cold and I need to find some warm socks.

On a mission....

Oh the things I become obsessed with. I have a friend who I just got back in contact with. We had lost contact for a good ten plus years. Well she doesn't really have any pictures of herself from when she lived here and was my best friend. So I told her I would find the few that I think I have and email them to her. Well easier said than done. I have torn my house apart looking for stashes of pictures. My room and closets are now in shambles and what did I come up with?

One measly picture. hrmph! So I am gonna keep up the search and hope it doesn't lead me to tearing apart my storage shed. I better get back to my mission before I lose my momentum. Wish me luck!

Inside Joke

Hey Sissy how'd them cars get parked like that? Hee Hee Hee.....Won't they fall? 

Isn't it Perdyful?

I Love November in Oregon. Took this picture while I was in Eugene today. The trees look so vibrant against the stormy sky. Tomarrow I am gonna go out and get some shots around the skirts of town so you can see how gorgeous it is here. ;) 

Results...

Ok so no one weighed in on the Myth vs. Reality post, with the exception of .:A:. who said he couldn't decide. So I will tell you it was number 1. Gross I know, but true. The other two options were based loosely on real events but very loosely.

I was a drone today. Flipping back and forth between news channels watching the election coverage. I started at 9 am and it is a little after midnight right now and I am still watching. It's close, but I think we all knew it would be. We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings now won't we? Anyway I better get back to drooling in front of the television waiting for some form of result. G'night All!

Obligatory Election Post

Ok so I have never really posted anything that reflected my political standing. I still won't because that is not what this blog is for. What I will do is Bitch about all the canvassers and the people who man the phone banks. No offense personally to these people, but I just think it is a bunch of crap. I mean if you are going to be convinced by some stranger on the phone, who may or may not be who they say they are, to vote one way or the other, I don't think you should vote at all on that issue. I have counted a total of 37 phone calls to my home this year. That is ridiculous! I make up my mind based upon the facts that I seek out on my own, I never consider anyone who solicits me. They aren't biased, they wouldn't be soliciting me if they were. So I drudge up info on my own, and use my brain to determine my own opinion. So the phone calls serve one purpose, to annoy the piss out of me. Especially the recorded ones.

Then something new started this year. Oregon is a mail in ballot state, so we get our ballots a week sometimes two weeks before Election Day. So I usually have my ballot filled out a week before I turn it in. This year was no different in that respect. What was new was the 6 different people who knocked on my door and asked if they could turn in my ballot for me. I do not think so! With all the ballot tampering BS going on out there, I will hand my own ballot in on Election Day.

So please do vote, but try to vote how you want to and not how other people say you should. You have a mind, use it. And if you can't make a decision, I don't think you are ready to be a responsible voter. But that is just my opinion and you have every right to disregard it completely. I just think this country deserves a little time and consideration when it comes to something like electing a President.

Oh and all you canvassers and phone-bank people, please leave me alone next time, or your likely to find my foot up your ass! Happy Voting!

Halloween Pictures of the Munchkins!

Niece B and "adopted" niece Ashley as a hooker and a cheerleader. Don't ask me who picked B's costume... 

Nephew Kevin who did not dress up, with his little half-sister Cassidey, thought this was a cute picture. 

My little cousins Zach and Sara, she is an All American Cheerleeder and he is a soldier who "had a bad day" according to him. 

Jordan was in camo, not sure exactly what she defined her costume as, but she wore all her step-dads camo and had him paint her face. 

Raina is a "Tigger" cat. 

Shea was a punk rocker with blue and purple hair. 

Spiderman! Dane, though he really wanted to be Thomas the train!