Thursday, October 14, 2004

Fake Sucks Bootay

I have decided that I am me and screw anybody who doesn't like it. They can just suck my toe! I have a dear friend. My closest friend in the world thinks that that title entitles her to dictate to me the way my life should go. Her heart is in the right place I suppose. But I am not her, and on the surface we are so different it's pathetic. See the thing is, underneath her facade she is just like me. She pretends a lot. Her husband is a great guy, but even he admits that when she is with me, she is a totally different person. He says that when she is with me is the only time he has ever really seen her completely relaxed. Not relaxed as in hot bubble bath, but relaxed as in not performing. Not trying so hard to be the sophisticated young wife and mother. She just isn't like that. She is a great mom and wife. But play dates and milestone parties for every kid in a group of people who she only hangs out with because they have kids is just not her. To sidestep her real friends because they don't fit into that world is ridiculous. And then to try and tell those people that she doesn't like what they do and who they choose to associate with, well that's just bullshit in my book. (and I have a rather long and wordy book mind you)

I am the one she calls at two AM to tell about the kick ass book she is reading, or ask if I can remember that time we did something (usually something stupid) or if I just want to go on a middle of the night walk and gab session (we are both night owls). I am the one who she asks to read her poems that she won't show anyone else because they might think she is weird. I am the one who she bitches about her husband, kids, and job too.

But when she has a party, I am the one she doesn't call at all. Cuz at parties we have to have our "couple" friends. The friends who were really the husbands friends before they got married and who all got married at the same time and had kids together. The friends who in my opinion remind me of twisted clones of each other. Like the Borg you must assimilate to be cool. Which of course would never happen as I would never change just get in with a group of people whom I find pathetic in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who are that way, just the ones that pretend to be, and then expect you to follow suit.

Ok enough about that.


Smiley said...

My married friends that are married with kids treated me like that until there kids became old enough to recognize me. Now it seems the kids dictate everything, and beings I'm thier favorite uncle I'm no longer an outsider. Plus the wives love to show me off as the "Consumate Bachelor". I don't know why some people can't believe that someone plans on being single for life.

ZZ OpenWeb Staff said...

Could not help but to respond to your post. Your first sentence sums it up."I have decided that I am me and screw anybody who doesn't like it." Never assimilate... instead lead! You care for this person and that should not change. Lead your life YOUR way and never second guess yourself. The entire future YOU have is YOURS... it is all about the journey my friend and your choices. Avoid getting yourself too mentally tied up to emotional boat anchors unless you see something bigger and more self fulfiling from that committment! Remember this... we are all learning... even your best friend. The journey and roads traveled are often very different but essentially we are all trying to get to the same place. You can fill in what you think that is :)

I have had dreames, and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams. - Jonas Salk

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you" - Satre

ZZ Bachman / The ZardozZ Portal
ZardozZ Portal

miss macy said...

i have friends like that too....her "real" life is so important...and i'm not....oddly enough - i started being fake with she's made me not important, i've become phony with her...and she knows it too....

okay, so maybe off a bit...but i still know what you mean.

Jessica said...

Wow thank you all for the comments. It's nice to know I am not alone in my experiance.